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How do I get him to understand?

Ok. Long story short my finance's brother (we will call him B) has mental issues which have resulted in his homelessness. B and I have not gotten along since day one of meeting because he thinks he can walk all over women and I don't tolerate anything of that sort.

My fiance insists that B is allowed to spend the night here when he needs to (generally only once a week to do laundry and get a shower. That is what I have worked it down to).

Well B just called from jail. He was picked up for rolling a blunt on some stairs down town. How do I get through to my fiance that I really don't want this type of influence in my home and around our son? B swears a lot and it is starting to rub off on my toddler even though I have told and reminded him not to swear around the kid.

Oh and I'm pregnant again, which is the same circumstances B & I had a big blow out around last time (messing with a pregnant womans food is letal, lol)

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:38 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • bottom line, its your fiances brother. he needs to follow the rules in your home and know you guys are doing him a favor. fix the language and i don't see any harm in him showering at your house once a week.

    Answer by staciandababy at 8:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • You tell him, flat out. Tell him the two of you need to look at options for his brother, and that he eneds to get help before he ends up dead on the street.

    Answer by gdiamante at 8:40 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I would tell your SO this time that that kinda stress around you during pregnancy is no good..that obviously his brother isnt up to changing and hes gotta quit trying to be there all the time. his family is you and his son now and thats what takes priority

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 8:41 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I would talk to your fiance. Tell him that you feel the whole situation with B is getting out of control and is making you feel uncomfortable. Get it through to him like this, first tell him how much you respect him and his family and that you realize B is his brother and then go into explain that the way B acts around your young child and in your house is something that you simply cannot tolerate. Tell him to talk to B and give him one last chance. If his behavior around you and in your house does not change...your fiance needs to let him know he's not welcome and needs to find another house to go to.

    Answer by javila at 9:54 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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