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What would you say to you husband if he said this to you?

My husband is going through this thing right now. He says he does not feel like a man because he is not that experienced, meaning he thinks because he has only slept with 3 different girls besides me that is not a man. I have only been with 3 others besides him. He thinks I am lying because he says and I quote "you are too pretty to not have had sex more." Um that has nothing to do with anything in my opinion. I am not lying. He is now considering divorcing me because he wants to go out and have sex with more women. I have been dealing with this for some long now that I am getting close to just letting him have his way. What do you think? I am just beyond knowing what to do. What would you say to your man if he said these things to you?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (20)
  • I would tell him that if having sex w/ multiple women is more important to him than the love we share together then to go and never come back because I deserve better!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:32 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • wow
    sorry to hear that
    maybe suggest the 2 of you go get some games and toys to get experience together?
    good luck
    mommymeg03

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 10:32 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • good bye
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:36 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • i'm sorry to hear that hun.. but if he's really considering that, i'd just let him go because you deserve sooo much better than that!!!!!
    psylees_mommy

    Answer by psylees_mommy at 10:42 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I think that your man is using this as an excuse (which is probably a good reason to let him go) or he is being honest with you (which is a good reason to let him go). It shouldn't matter how many women he has slept with he's with you and if he loved you it wouldn't matter to him either. sorry.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:43 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • "Don't let the door hit ya on your way out"
    Laura1229

    Answer by Laura1229 at 10:44 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • it almost sounds like he is trying to lay some kind of "poor me" guilt trip on you. he's trying to excuse his thoughts of leaving you by making it sound like it's your fault because by him saying "you're too pretty not to have had sex with more than three guys" and it is his way of being a jerk. He's pushing buttons. Don't let him work you up. Tell him "great, fine you don't believe me, there's the door". Sounds like he just wants out and is not man enough to say it.

    OR he could just have such a low self-esteem that deep down inside he doesn't really think he deserves a woman as pretty as you. Try to reassure him that you love him and that the past isn't what matters. What matters is that you two make each other happy both in and out of the bedroom. If you two can't come to an understanding after a heart to heart, time to say good bye then. I dont' know how old he is, but maybe it's a midlife crisis??
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 10:45 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • I agree with mommymeq03, experience different things together, try going to a couples sex toy party or something and if he is not comfortable then go to the sex toy store together and check things out or look up different things on the internet, it does not matter how many different women you are with as to how experienced you are. Being with different women won't necessarily teach you different techniques, trying them out together will and if you don't like one then try something different. If he wants to have the feeling of being with more women, dress up.. throw on a wig and some different make-up or something. One night stands will not solve the problem if that is indeed the problem he's really having!!
    slynnb

    Answer by slynnb at 10:45 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • This is why I love the idea of open marriages. It allows him to do what he wants to do (and you if you want to be with someone else). you could do foursomes with other couples. you both could expand your experiences together. There are lots of things to do without leaving the marriage. If it's something you can consider then talk with him about it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:49 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • he sounds like he regrets getting married because he wants to sow his wild oats so to speak. Or he wants you to give him the ok to cheat on you.

    sounds like an excuse to me though! If he loves you then none of this would matter. Sounds like he wishes he'd never married and would rather play the field.

    next time he says this crap kick him to the curb!
    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 11:05 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

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