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15, Pregnant & my boyfriend proposed?

I'm 15 years old and 7 months pregnant. My 17 Year old boyfriend is the baby's father and his thoughts about being a father is always changing (some days he is excited to be a daddy, other days he is worried..etc, but who wouldn't be, right?). Anyway, Last night he proposed to me. I don't want to get married if he only asked because of the baby. (If we get engaged it doesn't mean we have to get married right away, right?). I don't want to even think about marriage at the moment. can't we just focus on how we are going to go with each other when the baby comes. I don't know what to say to him. I don't want him to think its not because I don't love him or want him to be a part of our lives...any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:06 PM on Jun. 2, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Notta
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • well if this is something your not even considering it is a question you shouldnt be asking. honestly at the age the two of you are at you still have a lot of growing to do. a lot will change bewtween now and forever-you both still have to actually grow up and will all those changes making it as a married couple in todays world would be very difficult. i would say you should just see how things go with what you are dealing with now. marriage is a huge commitment if your truly serious about it and not a decision i think you should be making now so young. all i can say is you have quite a bit of growing to do and most likely will be a completely different person in 10 years then you are now which is a great thing as you will be older and should have learned quite a few more things and matured. my opinion!
    BusyB-Mommy

    Answer by BusyB-Mommy at 11:15 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Not a good idea, he's probably just thinking that this is something he needs to do because of the baby. If you two are meant to be together and truly love each other it will all work out and you can get engaged and married in the future. Plus then he will think he needs to get you a ring and he needs to save that money for diapers, formula and just the baby in general. I would wait until you are old enough to get your own place and see how living together with a child works for you. If it's meant to be it will be!
    slynnb

    Answer by slynnb at 11:15 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • As a young mom you are going to have tons of obsticals in your way to overcome during your first months/years of being a parent. If you really love him, and want to give him a chance there is nothing wrong with saying "yes I want to marry you, but not right now" At 15 that is a hard decision to make, and parenthood will change the both of you drastically and there is no telling if you will grow closer or further apart, as you have already said he is undecided how to react as a new father. As you pointed out, those feelings are normal, but it can cause alot of stress in your relationship too, especially in a young couple such as yourselves. I would focus more on what kind of parents you will be for the time being and put future talks of a marriage on hold for now. You can do that in a way though that won't push him away and make him feel unwanted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:16 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Do whatever you feel is right. Trust your instincts and stick to them!
    tbear2008

    Answer by tbear2008 at 11:18 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Whatever you decide,do not get married right away .Children are blessings but they can bring out the worst in some relationships.Just focus on your baby when he/she arrives because that is all you will have time for.Plus your hormones will probably be some what crazy after the baby comes and you might make a choice you will regret.I will pray for you to make the right choice.God bless you and your precious little baby.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • You are 15, you are questioning already, you will have a baby very soon....that sounds like three strikes against marriage already.

    My nephew is 19, his girlfriend got pregnant. She is 16. They got married when she found out she was pregnant. The baby is 7 months old now. They got divorced when he was 5 months. It was just too much strain on them to be mom and dad and husband and wife. They still take care of the baby together and are trying to make it work.
    teamquinn

    Answer by teamquinn at 11:22 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • Whats the rush? Thats sweet of him to ask you. I would put it off and see how everything works out after the baby is born. Good luck!

    youngmm

    Answer by youngmm at 11:31 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • your way too young......

    be a good mother...finish school..make sure he is involved as a father..leave it at that...
    moki1984

    Answer by moki1984 at 11:47 PM on Jun. 2, 2009

  • yep, tell him the same thing you just told us
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:09 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

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