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We have a problem.

My boyfriend will NEVER show emotion with anything. He won't bring up anything that pisses him off, ever. Until we're not with eachother and then he'll text me or talk to me on the computer about whatever bothers him. I know men have big time communication issues but this is the worst. I've never had this problem with any guy before. How can we fix this?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:02 AM on Jun. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • omg, we must have the same guy! 3 yrs he's been doing this to me but I've learned to live with it. Look up the term "Passive-Aggressive" and see if his picture is there. That's what that type of person does.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:07 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • lol me too girls, it drives me frickin nuts. I think every important conversation we have ever had has been through text messages. that's all you can do is learn to live with it. Everytime I have tried to make him sit down && have an actual face to face conversation, it just does not work. but hey at least they are talking to us, some men won't talk at all. they just keep it bottled up until one day they explode.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 1:10 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Whew... okay. My bf was like this in the beginning. All I did was stress how much I thought communication was important and he still didnt open up. 6 years later, I'm with someone who explodes and doesnt care who he is in front of, if hes feeling something he'll let it alllll out. My mans got anger issues lol... Sounds to me like your bf is afraid of telling you how he feels, hes afraid of approaching you. Have you tried approaching him about anything? I dont mean in a regular way, but actually stressed something that bothered you about him to him? Sometimes you have to teach by example... Good luck either way :)
    youngfirsttimer

    Answer by youngfirsttimer at 1:12 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • guys like that stay like that. my ex was like that and still is years later (I know him). Things do get them mad, they just don't wear their emotions on their sleeve. Just keep reminding him it's good to get it out rather than keep it in, not explode or anything, but at least talk about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Well, they stay like that but they do get better... My bf was wayyy worst or maybe not, maybe he just grew stronger feelings which caused him to act a little better... Either way, someone who is closed up is usually hiding something.
    youngfirsttimer

    Answer by youngfirsttimer at 2:26 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Try couples counseling.

    You can't enter a relationship with the expectation that someone will change.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:07 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • He is your boyfreind not husband.
    People can only change when they want to change.
    Just look at yourself, how hard is it to change something about yourself.
    Communication is the foundation of any relationship.
    Without communication you have nothing to build on.
    An unemotional person would be very unappealing to me.
    Sorry but if you are not happy and your needs are not being met, I would
    seriously move on.
    Dannee

    Answer by Dannee at 11:08 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • maybe you don't neccessarily need to fix it?

    I am like that, its not that I don't have the emotions, but its easier for me to express myself clearly when I have time to think and I don't have the pressure to answer right away. Writing things out gives me time to do that. I can revise what I say if I've said it wrong and edit what I don't really mean. My DH and I used to keep a notebook where we would right back and forth. I got to say everything I need to say without interruptions and in a concise manner. He could write out his answers and I didn't have to listen to him lecture! LOL. The big problem with writing is tone. There are times when I would have to write in the tone, like stage directions. So he knew I was actually being remorseful instead of sarcastic. Things like that.

    One pro about it is, that if you come to a resolution, its in writting! We also used it for other things not just arguments.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 2:54 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

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