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so called friend

my daughters so called friend is up to her ol tricks again.yesterday at school my daughter asked her friend if she wanted to play after school the girl said no....the girl turned around and asked jess's other friend if she wanted to play.jess;s feelings are getting real hurt.this girl has done this acouple of times.i dont want this to happen all summer.any case i have been trying to get ahold of the mother for a month with no avail.she is starting to do stupid things.she already drove by our house once to see if my daughter had a trail bike.with all friends in tow.now she parked directly across from our house with all girls in tow to play in the field..never asking my daughter to play.my daughter cant handle this i dont quit no what to do.i know this seems trite but it isnt to my daughter.

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raineydays377

Asked by raineydays377 at 8:11 AM on Jun. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (12)
  • Are these the only possible playmates? Maybe you could invite another girl or two over to play. Guide your dd into a better friendship, one that may last a long time.

    This group sounds like people I would want to get away from and teach my dd that not all people are nice and kind. Its hard, but you really cant change the other people, sounds like they are inconsiderate of others, and people like that rarely change.

    Find her some nicer friends ;) Hope that helps a little.

    mom2twobabes

    Answer by mom2twobabes at 8:14 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Mom, ive told you this before. Find your daughter some new friends. Dont keep barking up the same tree just to fall out of it. If this other girl is going to reject her everytime, then she needs to stop putting herself out there. This happened to us last night at the ball park. Another parent has spoken to her daughter about us and my daughter and when my daughter asked her a generic question, she said...dont talk to me. My dd was mad and hurt. I told her to ignore her because her mother obviously didnt teach her better. So she went on and after the game, my dd got the game ball. So we dont ever have to see her again. WE DO NOT associate with people who behave like that. This is obviously getting under your skin and upsetting your and your daughters lives. You have to find a way to stop this. THe game cant be played if you refuse to play it. Thats all it is...a game. Pretend that this family doesnt exist. For your own sanity.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:18 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Ugh young girls can be so cruel to eachother. I'd encourage your daughter to make new friends. Sign her up for some sort of specific camp that she is interested in like theater camp or soccer camp. You can't stop those girls from being mean but if they stop getting her upset the game won't be as fun. I remember this stuff from when I was a kid. You can't make it better by talking to their moms, that will just make it worse. She is going to have to do some early growing up and leave the group of friends or at least this one girl.

    Either that or buy her something cool like a trampoline or a karaoke machine and have her invite the other girls over but not the mean one. One of those two things ought to work.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 8:28 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • i have to agree with all the above, my dd delt with this, at the time this other girl would be my dd's friend till someone else came around and she would say i only played with u till so and so came home. she would come in crying, i had to sit her down and tell her this girl is not a friend a real friend is like this...not that. and kids can be mean no matter what. i told dd to just ignore her and one day this girl came over while dd was outside playing her ds game and girls said wanna play..dd said no i rather do this which mustve irked the girl she kept pestreing dd so dd got up and said i dont want to play your mean and walked inside. she was so proud of herself and this friend was miffed and tried to work her way back into dd's life dd didnt want to have it. so dd would play with a few kids and this friend moped around. ( i thought karma ) my dd would say hi but thats about it. life went on. she learned and she was 8 yrs.
    tabbys4

    Answer by tabbys4 at 8:52 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I would look for outside groups like girl scouts, Rainbow, a non-school sport...

    This girl will not change and you and your dd need to stop expecting it. She needs to reject her and stand up for herself. It may be that one day this mean girl will loose her posse to the one that stands up to her.
    happytexasCM

    Answer by happytexasCM at 9:04 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Oh girls! Sounds like she is just a mean girl.. and the daughter of a mean girl. Take a closer look at others around you and you will find someone for your daughter. The quiet, stay out of the fray type girls are a good choice. i work at an Elem. school and see this all the time. There is always a great kid who just hangs on her own because she refuses to get in with the mean girls. Find her! I also agree with looking in to outside groups like brownies or girl scouts or whatever she may be interested in!
    teampalmer4

    Answer by teampalmer4 at 9:58 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • My suggestion...have your daughter find some new friends. Have her join something during the summer so that she can go do things with OTHER girls and she then won't feel so hurt...

    I've told my daughter (now 19) that friends come and go...find ONE good one and they'll be friends for life!
    katb04

    Answer by katb04 at 11:22 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • This is why i almost never hung out with girls growing up. Boys make much better friends. No drama.
    paganmom05

    Answer by paganmom05 at 11:29 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I think you're daughter needs to make new friends. But you can't do this for her. This is a part of life and she needs to learn to stand up for herself! This happened to me with my so-called best friend in the 3rd grade I think. She was being a total witch and I said fine I don't want to be your friend. I made new friends and made myself happy.
    feesharose

    Answer by feesharose at 11:33 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Help your DD find new friends! Enroll her in a new activity and she's sure to find new friends who she has lots in common with.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 11:35 AM on Jun. 3, 2009

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