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what can i do to have my sons father be more involved

its very complicated but me and my sons father broke up when i was 3mos pregnant and we havent realy talked in person since.i have a wonderful relationship with his mother and i also am good friends with his other sons mother but he (to me)does absolutly nothing.like his mom takes our son everyother day she buys him diapers wipes and clothes i appreciate so0o0o0o much but i could care less what she does for me i want him to do it.i want him to take our son to the park i ant him to change his diapers an feed him bottles i want him way more involved than having his mom do it all for him...hes 18 and his father was never around but idc im 20 and loosing it cus i have steped up and done it all and i wanna go out and have fun like he does everyday!he is a dead beat and i want him more involved but i dont know how to.and he also is refuseing to pay child support by telling me i have a job so he doesnt have to

 
mamabear0824

Asked by mamabear0824 at 1:49 PM on Jun. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • At least gramma wants to be part of her grandsons life. I agree with everyone else though...noone can force him to be a dad to your boy. But you do need to take him to support court...talk to his mom 1st so theres no hard feelings there. Tell her you appreciate all she does but that you need his financial assistance & you dont want her to be the one paying it once the judge determines the amount. He is the father & needs to help with your sons expenses. My 3 kids have no dad & no family to speek of on dads side...all 3 of my childrens fathers signed away all parental rights cause they didn't want to pay support or have anything to do with our kids. My kids are much better off now though. Only way their dads would have to pay now is if i go on welfare & that aint gonna happen. I support all 3 kids alone in every way (financial,emotional,etc...) And my youngest/only boy has autism. We get by just fine.
    3Dani75

    Answer by 3Dani75 at 4:56 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • You can force him to pay child support..But you can not force him to be in your childs life/be a father to your child.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 2:02 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I'm sorry your child's father is such an idiot. That's what he is an idiot. Any man who doesn't get involved in his child's life clearly has no sense of morals or love. You can't MAKE him love your child. Maybe some day he will grow up and see just how wonderful your son is before it's too late. My son hates his father because the guy is an idiot. he is just a check every month and that's it. No birthday gifts, no visits, the last time he saw his father was ten years ago. And we live just 12 hours from the guy. Some guys are just losers.

    You may find that male friends, brothers or even a teacher of your sons may be a true mentor to him throughout his life and more of a father to him than his own flesh and blood.

    Don't waste your time trying to MAKE him love him just get him for child support and let things happen as they may. Good luck! :) And yay for grama helping out! :)
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 2:29 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • You cannot make him be a part of his child's life if he doesn't want to be...here's the reality of it all...you didn't force him to lay up with you and have this child, therefore, you cannot force him to be responsible and spend time with his child...his mother knows this and that's why she's stepped up and helped you with your child...
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:17 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • as painful as this is, you cannot make him be a parent.BUT lol you bet your butt you can force him to pay child support. Call your counties child support advocacy office and explai to them he is not paying you anything and they will tell you what needs to be done. Any man you have to forcce to spend time with his child and doesnt see how much financial help you need form him...why do you want him around your child anyways?men that are forced to see their kids generally are not very nice to them and thats not fair to your child either.
    Bearsjen

    Answer by Bearsjen at 5:30 PM on Jun. 3, 2009