Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Should i try to stick it out with the farther of my unborn child or should I look out for myself

He told me he would be there for me and the baby 100% and so far he hasn't even made one doctors appointment. It's hard doing this alone. I love him don't get me wrong but i don't know how long I wait for him.


Asked by MSSNIKA27 at 2:49 PM on Jun. 3, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 1 (0 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Most men don't come to ALL the appointments, especially if you aren't married or the baby wasn't planned. The real indicator is when the baby is here. It's hard for him to be a father to a baby that isn't even here yet. I would wait it out and see what happens. You can't "punish" him for not being a father to a child not here yet.

    Most men don't "click" or "bond" with the baby until they feel the baby move or see/hold the baby. that's when reality sort of hits

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:52 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Don't judge him on being at a doctors appointment or not. What's he going to do there anyway? Look in your hooch with the doc? See if he's going to be there financially, emotionally, during delivery, etc.

    Answer by EireLass at 2:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Have a word with him and see if you can both to come to some sort of arrangement

    Answer by Momto9crazykids at 2:54 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • i went thro the same thing!
    i kicked him to the curb
    he was a dead beat and i need some one more
    so its up to u can u live with him?
    if not talk to him warn him

    Answer by littlemommy202 at 2:56 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I believe in living your life independently and if he shows up and participates then that's a bonus. Never wait on anyone. If you want something in life, do it yourself. That way you know it's done right and you are never disappointed.

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:59 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • You need to be independeant and focus on that child. Leave the drama behind. If he shows up he shows if he doesn't sue him for child support dont waste your precious time worrying about "love" you need to focus on loving you and that baby.

    Answer by katiekruschke at 3:03 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Woman become mothers the day they find out they are pregnant. Men become fathers when they see their child. He may be having issues dealing with the idea of becoming a father and he may be distancing himself unintentionally. Stick it out. Its not the end of the world that he didn't go to a doctors appt. And if thats the worst he does be great full.

    Answer by ChaseyVance at 3:27 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • my husband came to a few of my OB apts but he didn't always come to the back unless they were doing an ultrasound lol he said it was intimidating LOL and that's totally ok with me!!! He is there for us in other ways and that makes up for him not coming to all of my appointments, tell him how you feel though, let him know you would like him to put forth an effort to be involved, see what he says :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:41 PM on Jun. 3, 2009