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what should i do?

my boyfriend has no kids of his own, and now he has 2 teens. he has been around my kids for 9 months straight now. he is getting upset when they have there friends over for the night. what should i do? i don't want to make him mad, but my kids are my life and i want them to be happy.

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okc-mom-2

Asked by okc-mom-2 at 6:22 PM on Jun. 3, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • That depends on WHY he gets upset - is it the noise, the responsibility of more kids, the mess...? If it is something silly like the noise of a t.v. on or giggling, it might be a sign that he isn't mature enough to handle having kids around (and maybe a sign of why he has none of his own) which may clue you into what kind of a stepfather he might be. But if he is having some legitimate concerns over the friends, like that he thinks they are bad influences or disrespectful or something, it might be worth talking over and talking to your kids about. But don't put him above your kids just so you don't "make him mad". THEY are your first priority, always. His feelings come second, and any good man who is walking into your life at this late date ought to understand that.
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 6:29 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • MY BOYFRIEND IS 46 YR OLD. IT IS JUST THEM RUNNING IN AND OUT OF THERE ROOM. THE KIDS THAT COME OVER IS MY NEPHEWS, NIECES, AND MY COUSINS KIDS THAT THEY DON'T SEE ALOT OF. BUT SINCE SUMMER BREAK IS HERE THEY HAVE COME TO STAY A WEEK HERE AND THERE. AND NOT ALL AT ONCE. THERE IS NO MORE THAN 4 KIDS HERE AT A TIME.
    okc-mom-2

    Answer by okc-mom-2 at 6:35 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • first i wanna say family is first.bottom line . what he has to understand is kids are gonna be kids that's there job. summer time especially is like the best to them , no school,stay up all night play with your friends run in and out the house looking for more stuff to get into. He needs to accept it or you need to move on . just because he accepts you doesn't mean he accept them. he may play it off like he does but little minor things like that wouldn't get him so upset. As long as they not selling drugs, drinking or just plain out being disrespectful then it should be fine. One thing you don't wanna do is take away from your kids to make him happy because they will end up being very mad at you . Always remember men may run in and out of you life but your kids and family are forever.
    amiyamom

    Answer by amiyamom at 6:58 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I'm assuming he's a live in bf. If not, tell him to go home when the other kids are there. It's crazy him not wanting kids to be kids in their own home and have visitors. Kids make noise. This is why I don't date men that have no children. They have no patience.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:11 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I think that is a sign of how he will be.. He sounds immature and should date women with No kids or kids that have moved out. Sorry to say it but he may just not be right for you. Your kids have the right to BE children and have friends Speacially friends.
    My mom had a boyfriend once that was like that when we were little and she gave into him. Turned out that he was controlling and abusive the more my mom gave into him the worse he got...I was 6 and remember him beating me for back talking (mom dumped him and had him arrested for laying a hand on me so it only happened once) Not saying he is like that but something to think about...
    heather.darin

    Answer by heather.darin at 7:25 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • He has no kids and now has teens in his life. He is probably overwhelmed. Sit down with him and the kids and maybe work out something that can work for you all.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:50 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Yea have you talked to him about why he does not have any kids? I think he should be honest with you. One of the things that getsme with some men is they lie and do what they have to to get with you but are not completly honest about themselves. If he has no kids because he does'nt like kids or does not have patience then he should tell you. As things progress with you trying to appease him , your just going to wind up having a bunch of angry kidsat you. If you allow your kids to have friends over and have been doing that, who is he to come around and try to change things ? It is you and your kids home and if he does not like the way it is run then he needs to go back to his. Plain and simple kids come first.
    my2kids312

    Answer by my2kids312 at 8:32 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

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