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Does anybody have older kids who ended up not being what you expected? Are any of you disapointed in any way with what your grown children are now doing, despite how you raised them to be?

I'm curious to know if there are parents out there, willing to admit that no matter how perfect you tried to be as a parent, your kids still ended up: failing out of college, or not even going to college in the first place; becoming addicted to drugs; hanging out with the wrong people; becoming narcissistic, not really caring about others; etc.
In other words, are any of you upset with how things turned out with your children? Please only respond to this question if you are NOT HAPPY with the results of your efforts.

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Asked by mybabies at 9:20 PM on Jun. 3, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (4)
  • I am going anon. with this, as I'd never want to hurt my child.

    My 24 dd is basically doing nothing with her life. She is a hs drop out. Married to a hs dropout who is doing nothing with his life either. I have tried and tried to get her to at least get her GED and take some college courses. I had her at 19. Was divorced from her father by 20. We struggled financially like you wouldnt believe. Things have changed and my family doesnt struggle so hard anymore. I dont understand why she wants to continue living that type of lifestyle. She is so smart and so creative and so beautiful. It is hurtful and disappointing when you had so many hopes and dreams for your child to do better then you did.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:33 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I know that my parents were quite disappointed with my brother's choices. He is the kind to only think of the short term, and get rich quick schemes. He racked up $16K in credit card debt and had 2 DUIs before the age of 23. He refused to go to college (which my parents would have paid for), and instead worked for a very questionable used car dealer to make money. He could care less about his parents, lied, and had a sense of entitlement a mile wide.

    However, at the age of 30, he has since realized his mistakes. He is now enrolled in college part time and working part time. He realized that he wasn't getting anywhere in his dead-end jobs, and that while others moved on with their lives, he was living exactly as he did when he was 21. He learned he loved to cook, takes on responsibilities for taking care of my mother, and is really a different person.

    Sometimes it just takes longer for the person to grow up.

    Answer by Busimommi at 9:48 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • i get thefeeling my parents r dissapointed in me. i was suppose to joing the service make a carree out of and when i was ready to settle down come back home. instead i got hurt in basic spent 6 month in rehabe got honorable disharge. came home broke up with my fiance a year later after loseing r baby. got a job working for a research facility where i met my ex got preggo by him really quick had my dd. i left th research for a factory job and became sick and wound up going in and out of the hospitable alot over the next 3yrs. i finally got my act together met my hubby and finally after all that my life is looking up. sometimes people try to do the right thing but no matter how hard they try life kicks them around and gets them down.

    Answer by rainmommy at 10:30 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • I think the hardest thing for my dad with my sister who is working and supporting her daughter singlehandedly almost- is that they never communicate. my dad never calls her and she never calls him, so he has no clue what she's is up to and doesn't get her decisions. he's as much to blame as she is, but anyway.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:02 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

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