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Father trouble

I am a 20 year old mother and the father of my son is 22.. how can i get him out of the "i dont want to help out" stage.. all he wants to do is take criedit for beign the father of our son... he doesnt help me out at all... i am fed up.. please help..

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mommy_1107

Asked by mommy_1107 at 10:51 PM on Jun. 3, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • tell him he has no braggin rights when he does squat for ur son. i did that with muh bby's father.
    momma323

    Answer by momma323 at 10:54 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • tell him in order to be a real dad he has to be involved, otherwise he's just a sperm donor. i told my husband this when our daughter was about a month or two old and was fed up w/the i won't change her b/c shes a girl excuses and all the other ones he came up with. that seemed to sink in for him b/c he realized he had to start being a dad now in order to be the fun daddy later.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 11:11 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Good luck...you can't tell them anything or make them do anything. They have to discover it on their own. I was 19 when I had my 1st dd and dh was 24.....it took 3 yrs of marriage and a 6 month separation ( I kicked his no helping, video game playing, butt out!) before he got it! And he got it all on his own. Me harping and nagging and explaining only drove him further up the wall and away from us! I HATED when people said this but...you are both young so that makes it a little more difficult! But if you can figure out a way to SHOW him what a positive diff he makes, take some of the blame (even when you think it's not your fault) when you are telling him what is bothering you, pray for patience. We will be married 10 yrs come June 10th! I REALLY hope ya'll can make it work!

    momof030404

    Answer by momof030404 at 11:18 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • Tell him to stop being a loser and help you out for once. And also tell him if he thinks his child isn't going to realize, someday in the near future, that it is his MOMMY that does everything for him... He's nuts because your child WILL notice by the time he/she is 2ish.
    And I don't mean to be a bitch, I'm not some mother with a perfect life and husband saying this to you. (I HATE when dumb women do that) I'm speaking from experience. I've done EVERYTHING for my daughter physically, emotionally, and financially for my daughter while he dead beat loser dad tried to act like he's the greatest, funnest dad ever!
    My daughter is now 2 1/2 and fully realizes that *I* am the one that takes care of her. She comes to ME when she needs something. Sure, she likes having fun with him but it's ME that she KNOWS she came depend on for anything.
    AriMicSun

    Answer by AriMicSun at 11:46 PM on Jun. 3, 2009

  • You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Just file for child support and take what you know you can get from him. Other than that, you can't make him be a part of the child's life. Many men prefer to wait until the child can walk and talk and "be fun" which means no changing diapers for dad and no bottle feeding. They like the "let's go to McDonald's" stage.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:43 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • throw a poopie diaper in his face...
    LilChynaDollie

    Answer by LilChynaDollie at 3:23 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • throw a poopie diaper in his face...




    haha my friend actually used to do this with her fiance when their daugter was a baby! LOL! He pulled the I can't change her because she's a girl excuse. He claimed that he was afraid someone would say he wiped her wrong or something and turn him in for sexual abuse. To the OP I don't really have any advice because I have been a single parent for the majority of my kids life. Their dad has been in and out and is now done and not coming back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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