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What does this mean about my marriage?

My husband doesn't kiss me hello,good-bye,goodnite or even say it.I thought when people are in love they want to do these things.i spoke to him about it but it i still the same and it hurts that he doesn't even do it to our kids.

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lexylove206

Asked by lexylove206 at 4:00 AM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • Wow maybe his not an affectionate person but he does it to the child that's wrong you should speak with him again and see where that takes you.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 4:06 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Has he always been like that? If so, then why now do you expect it to be different?
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:10 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Some people are raised in families that DON'T display affection at all. It says nothing about your marriage and everything about how he was socialized.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:11 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Diamante has a good point. My husband was the same way, because his family were like that. I on the other hand am very affectionate and loving and so is my family. It didn't take long for my behaver when it came to affection towards my husband to rub off on him... He now is the only that is always blowing me kisses, or kisses me... Stop by me just to rub my cheek with his hand. Perhaps if you just started being affectionate alot more with him and the kids he will come around.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:14 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Oh, by the way I love how affectionate my husband is towards me even though I may not show it all the time.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 4:15 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I think it may be because you have hurt his feelings very deeply at some time over something. Men don't speak about their feelings the way women do. If you will think back to when things began to change between you, you will probably be able to remember what happened at that time. Also, husbands need the respect of their wives in the same way that women need to feel loved. If you have shown him disrespect, if you have ridiculed him, if you have questioned his intelligence, you have wounded him on a very deep level. If he is not an aggressive personality, he has internalized his hurt and what you are seeing is the resulting evidence. Instead of accusing him of anything, try apologizing for what you may or may not have done that has affected him, and you will likely see a difference in his behavior toward you. I think most women do not realize how very sensitive men are, especially about being respected.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:57 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I feel your hurt. I am a person whose love language is touch. I have asked my husband to hug me or touch me once a day. He doesn't. If your husband is open to learning, share the Love Languages book with him. It will explain the ways people experience loving messages (touch, praise, gifts, time, acts of service). There is a book for spouses and one for children (teens too) that will explain how everyone has their own language. It will help you understand where he is coming from too. The turth is, not eveyone does the things you expect. It may be how they grew up or what comes (or doesn't come naturally). Live and learn and I hope it helps.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 8:13 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • My husband is like that- always has been. In his case he grew up in a house with his grandparents, their views were very strict and did not belive in showing affection, I have learned that if I want to be kissed - like when he gets home - I ususally have to start it or give him a hint. My hubs sil (who married his brother) says that her hubs is the same way- not very much affection. She is VERY affectionate and says what she did to 'train' him was tell him every day "I like hugs/kisses when you get home" and then give him a big hug and kiss. Eventually he got where he would automatically do that when he would come home.
    If you are bothered by your husband not being affectionate - talk to him. Find out what is going on. Maybe he does not realize you want him to do it. Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:06 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I agree its better for him to give you all kisses . but at least demand him to give the kids a kiss ; hello, goodbye and even one more to say he loves them. Its very important for the kids.to feel loved.by their dad. But you should still try to get him to give you kisses too. flirt with him a little.who knows?!
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 11:15 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

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