Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

why am i feeling like this?!

ok so my babys father and I are breaking up.I know hes not the one for me, its sad but hes not. We've tried to work things out but its just not working. Last night he went on his 1st date, that I set him up with the girl ( i just want him to be happy). I was excited for him but as soon as he shut the door i couldnt stop crying. I know this man isnt the one i want to marry I know this so why am i feeling liek this.!!!!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:23 AM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • It is the end of your dreams, the "death" of your dreams for you and your baby's father. It is normal for you to feel grief. Let yourself feel sad and then you'll be able to pick yourself up and move on.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 7:47 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • It is because when you give yourself to a man sexually, you give him a part of your very being. The fact that you had a child with him bonds you to him in even deeper ways. This is one of the big reasons why it is so important that you decide who is the one for you before marriage and sex. I don't know what your problems are with this man, but I would be willing to bet that you saw some of these things early on, but you either believed that you could change him or you wanted to be loved so much that you were willing to overlook his faults. You cannot change any other person and character rarely changes. The only person you have any control over is yourself, and the best time to exercise that control is when you have the power to say no to sex with a man to whom you aren't married. There is nothing you can do to relieve the pain, but you can learn from it and never repeat this mistake again.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 7:51 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • NannyB is correct. When you are intimiate with someone, there is a spiritual connection that takes place. You are bound by the heart and even more so because you have a child with him. You will grieve because its like bonding the heart, then ripping it apart. Thats painful. Its good that you were willing for him to be happy and it sounds like you and him are good friends. Stay that way. If not for yourself, then do it for your child. Give it time. Youll be okay.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:03 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Perhaps he is the man for you and you just up until now refused to believe it.
    soonmommyof3

    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 8:29 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.