I have a very pushy MIL. I need some advice on how to deal with her. She constantly wants to take my one year old on her own and will not take no for answer. I don't feel comfortable with this for many reasons...her lifestyle and habits, safety issues around her house and also her driving. There are many reasons that going into detail would take all day. I've been telling her no for the past year. She continues to make a nursery in her home, buy car seats for her car, all kinds of stuff. We try to make time to see visit her every week or every other if we're busy but it's not enough. When it's time to leave our visit with her she says to my baby, you want to stay with grandma don't you or tell your mommy you want to stay with grandma. She also calls crying to my husband making him feel guilty or sends rude emails. My husband thinks she is a sweet innocent lady but i think she is manipulating and I can't stand it. Please Help.
Asked by Anonymous at 9:31 AM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships
Start here -> My MIL is a Crapburger. http://www.cafemom.com/group/32665 - the ladies give GREAT advice when it comes to pushy overbearing MIL's like yours Also, Fallaya hit the nail on the head - Mil's tend to be pushy, expecially when it comes to the grandkids. It's their sense of entitlement, which doesn't really exist. Being a grandparent is a privilege.Just because your MIL went out and bought nursery stuff & a car seat DOES NOT mean your child has to use it, EVER. If you have a bad feeling about leaving your child w/MIL - GO WITH IT. Your Mommy Instincts are usually 100% right on. Your the Mom and what you say goes. Your MIL needs to learn that NO is a COMPLETE sentence. There is no "rule/law" that says MIL (or GP's for that matter) absolutely HAVE TO BABYSIT. Seems like she has the open invitation to visit the baby at your home, she just doesn't want to because thats not what SHE WANTS.
Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by coala at 9:37 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 9:42 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by AmandaH321 at 9:47 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by Dewdlemom at 9:47 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by MizLee at 9:48 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Your husband needs to handle her. I would be pissed at her attempts to upset your baby when it is time to leave. My husband and I would be inclined to pipe up with "If you are going to create a problem when it is time to go, then we don't have to come back." and follow through on it. Punish Grandma for her childish behavior and see if she steps back into line. but DH has to be the one to say it, not you. at least not the first time.
Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by louise2 at 11:33 AM on Jun. 4, 2009
Answer by kimberlyinberea at 12:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2009