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How do explain to a three year old that mommy and daddy are getting divorced!!!?

My husband and I have had many problems and our now getting a divorce. I still love him but we are in two different world. We have tried counseling, church, and many other things and still nothing works. The hardest part about this whole situation is finding a way to explain to my three year old son why we have a new house and daddy is not there. How do handle this sort of situation.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:41 AM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • My kids were 3 & 4 when my ex & I separated. I told them that Mommy was going to have a new house & Daddy was going to stay in the old house. I told them that we both loved them very much & now they were going to have two happy homes. I let them know that they were going to live with Mommy but would see Daddy a lot (he has them EOWE & we split holidays) & that if they were with one parent, they could always call the other one. For my kids, it wasn't that big of an adjustment b/c the ex traveled a lot for business & so he was not around for a lot of their lives. Also, by the time we finally split, the tension was so thick you could slice it with a knife so even though the kids didn't understand what was happening, they were happier once we moved out b/c their parents were happier. It has been 2 1/2 years & I think they are very well adjusted. Please feel free to PM me if you would like to talk. Hugs & Good luck!
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 10:51 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I wish that I knew more about what your problems are and what you have tried. Marriage is hard, but problems can be solved. So much depends on how badly you want it to succeed and what you are willing to do to make it work. Learning to let go of our own selfish desires takes years, but it is so well worth the time, pain, and all the rest. There is no way that you can explain what is happening to your three-year old. All he knows is that he needs both his mommy and his daddy in his little world. All the explaining in the world is not going to mend the hole that is left in his life. I would be trying to think of ways to get his daddy back into his world as quickly as I possibly could. I think too many women have bought into the happily ever after mentality. It's just not true, but you can have a wonderful life even with disagreements and less than endless blissful days After more than 44 years, I'm still working at it
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 10:55 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Just tell your son mommy and daddy are not going to live togther anymore..Or daddy is not going to live with us any more..You both should be therewhen he is told this.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:06 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • My son was 4 years old when his dad and I finally seperated for good.My best advice to you is to seek counseling for your child right away and possibly family counseling for your child and you together.I waited till this year (my son is 9 now) to seek counseling because I thought we could handle it on our own. Children act out thier feelings in different ways...my sons education suffered from it, his teacher and school thought he might have some type of learning disability but in actuality, he didn't know how to deal with the emotions and hurt he felt from his father and I divorcing. I have now had him in counseling only since Febuary of this year and he;s already doing so much better! His attitude toward school has changed, behavior has gotten better,he's more positive and confident.His reading scores went WAY up..he's playing catch up now but he has NO learning disabilty, he just needed help dealing with his feelings.
    kimberlyinberea

    Answer by kimberlyinberea at 11:07 AM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Oh for goodness sake, he's 3. He'll think it's a normal part of life and he'll adjust. You don't explain anything to a three yr old. Divorce is as foreign to them as nuclear fusion. You just live your life and make him feel loved. You will probably find half the kids in the neighborhood don't have daddies living at home either so he'll think that's the way it is. You need to come to grips with what's happening. Child isn't the real problem, huh? Mom's not adjusting well. Take a class on Divorcing. It might help.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:19 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

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