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does this make me mean??

so currently im so damn poor we only have one car and my own mom has been giving me grocery gift cards to feed my family.. or else my son and i would go hungry ...... it has not alwys been this way but the resssecion has hit us really hard.. so here is my question my mil and fil dont have money problems nor do they care if we do. they could care less if we eat or whatever.. anywys my own sister has also bless her little heart helped us out also .. there was a time we helped her out when we were doing better... my mil thinks that bc she had hamburger helper once in her life she has been poor.. this lady has a vacation house just to do bible studies. well it makes me sick so i said that when they pick up my son i dont want her to come bc its to painful for me to be around my dh's mother.. who rather get her hair colored for church then make sure her grand kid is fed.. so is me not wanting to see her mean??

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:44 PM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • I can see how you would feel but they really dont owe you anything. I think you are expecting something from them, but just because they have it doesnt mean they owe it to you. It would be nice, but Im a single mom and work multiple jobs and my dd's grandparents could help us out, but they dont. Maybe once a year they buy us some groceries. focus on making ends meet and less on them, they may ot even realize how much you are struggling.
    ria7

    Answer by ria7 at 3:49 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Youre not being mean i would react the same but do not isolate the children from their grandparents :)
    tjandjenna

    Answer by tjandjenna at 3:51 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Not saying you shouldn't resent your MIL, but it's not her job to provide for you family. It would be great if she cared a little especially because she has a grand child, but unfortunately, not all people who go to church are saints...
    Miss-Baby-Baker

    Answer by Miss-Baby-Baker at 3:51 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • No it is not mean of you. But why would you expect her to help y'all? Go to the goverenment to get on Food Stamps if you are that bad off.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:51 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Well not mean but some people, your mil, dont see it as thier job to feed your son. Regardless of how great your need is.Its just the way some people are.
    lostshel

    Answer by lostshel at 3:52 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Ria has written wisely. We can't expect gifts from others. If they choose to give them, then fine, but we can't demand, or hold our children hostage, if they don't. I agree that maybe they don't know the problem, or they don't want to become enablers, maybe they think you should be able to get along on your own. So if you haven't told them how hard it is and all that you have done to solve the problem on your own, then perhaps it would be a good idea. Check out food pantries in your area and food giveaways, you should be able to get food from them.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 3:55 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • i expect the help i guess bc they act like they are perfect church goers... vacation house for bible studies.....and they do know how much we are struggling. i told her since we are in poverty and u dont care it hurts me. and your lack of concern makes me upset and hurt ...then she says i know how u feel i ate penut butter and jelly once.. i feel like im almost being mocked if that makes sense??. and in my own opinion i would help my family out if they needed it. and i could help them..i do believe i am my brothers keeper... but on a postive note i really should focus how grateful i should be to my own my mom and sister...
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:57 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Whether or not your children eat is your responsibility, not hers. And although they are her grandchildren, and she should care, it is mostly up to you to provide for them. She doesn't owe you anything even if you are struggling financially.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • well thank god my own mother and sister would never let me and my family go hungry nor would i them. thank u for your thoughts and answers they are helpful!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • it would be easier for me to not to expect anything if they didnt mock me with their hamburger helper,, and penut butter and jelly stories.. thats what makes me not want to be around them,,does that make sense??
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

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