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Who puts time limits on true love?

Heres the deal moms. I met this guy in April, I liked him but kind of pushed him away. I then began talking to him a few weeks later. I was fearful that he would be another needed bum who never took care of me. He has been everything but. We discussed painting the house and went bought paint but Tuesday when I got home my whole house was already painted and redecorated. We spend everyday together. He is used to women that are easy but with me he says his respect and love come from me making him wait even the little time I did. I have been divorce since 2000 with 2 daugthers and a mother who has cancer that has been living with me since 2004. He cares about the kids day went, and whether or not they respect me. He tells me making me happy and smile is what I deserve and that is all he wants to do. So I need to know should I marry him and how soon. he wants to marry me on my bday 6.29.09 is it too soon?

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Asked by Tari0676 at 4:39 PM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • IMO yes its too soon. There are some things about people you can only learn with time. He may be perfect and if he is...he will totally understand why a mom with 2 impressionable girls wants to give it time. What would you honestly tell one of your dd's if they were in your spot?Not saying he isnt mr right....but since you have kids, itsnot just you that is getting married...its them too. wait a little bit mpom and good luck. :o) and if he gets upset at all that you want to wait...he is not so perfect and be careful.

    Answer by Bearsjen at 4:43 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • wow he sounds amazing i am soo happy for you girl do what is in your heart if he makes butterflies in your belly and in your heart everytime you see each other then make you both happy you deserve it ......... for true love nothing is too soon i married my husband after dating him 3 weeks and i love everyday we are together!!! good luck godbless and be happy

    Answer by tiffandgene2009 at 4:43 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I think when you know it's true just know.

    I met my Hubby over 4 1/2 years ago in highschool...I was 15---and I just knew it was true love---of course EVERYBODY tried to tell us differently....but here we are! Feels good to make it through all those years---we've hit some really rough patches along the way.
    We're getting married in September of this year, just a month shy of our 5 years.

    If it's just is. I think it's just something you know....


    Answer by carliemarie1015 at 4:47 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I agree that it is too soon. You don't want your daughters to watch you get married so quick and decide to do it themselves. If he really loves you, he will give you time. If he has proposed, then tell him you want a year long engagement to continue to get to know each other.

    Does he want kids of his own? Do you want more kids? What religion are you both? How does he think that children should be raised? Does he want you to work or stay home? How do you feel about that?

    Do you know the answers to all of those questions? If not, then you need to take a lot more time to get to know one another.

    Answer by casperskitty at 4:50 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I agree with the first poster....I think you should wait. This coming from someone who thought the guy was perfect, it was true love and all that. I married him after only a little while....And now, 4 years later, my divorce will be finalized this month....

    Answer by Sparta. at 4:52 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Have you met any of his family? Do you know any of his friends? Is he financially responsible? Do you and he have the same goals for the future? Is he addicted to anything? Alcohol, drugs, sex? Does he have any kind of a criminal record? What about his marital history? Are you absolutely sure that this is the man with whom you want to spend the rest of your life? There are other questions which need to be answered before you marry, but you get the idea. Love is a lot more about commitment than it is about feelings. It pays to really investigate a man's background, especially if he is someone who just sort of dropped into your life. There's an old saying that if it seems too good to be true, then it probably is. I would really want to thoroughly check out his background and learn everything I could about him before marrying. He could be a fraud, and I would want to know that sooner rather than later.

    Answer by NannyB. at 4:58 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Speaking from experience, I met my ex, thought he was great, married him 4 months after I met him, (and that's AFTER moving in with him after 3 weeks), and divorced his sorry, cheating, lying, miserable, criminal ass 3 yrs later.

    This guy may be as wonderful as you think he is. And I hope he is. But you have 2 daughters to protect, and you need to keep that little thought in the back of your mind "What if I'm wrong?" Give it more time. If you both really, truly love each other, then some more time to get to know each other better, to learn more about him and his life before you, to deepen that love, can only be a good thing. And if it turns out he's not as great as you think, or that you just aren't as compatible as you thought, then it's much easier to walk away, and your daughters won't get hurt as badly as if you end up having to tear a family apart again. Good luck and I hope ti all works out!

    Answer by tropicalmama at 5:24 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • You need to think of your girls FIRST. Do you know everything about this man's past? This could be a very dangerous situation....I am not saying that it will be, just that it could. I hope he is everything you think he is and it sounds like you two are very much in love. Just give it time. If he is half as great as you make him sound, he will understand. Just tell him that you are a mom first and that that comes before anything else. Let him know that you need to ease your girls into things and make SURE that you meet his family and do some research on him. Make sure you guys are on the same page and have discussed... do you want more kids? Are you happy with your current working situations? Do you want to be anywhere in particular 5 years from now?

    Answer by jenellemarie at 5:39 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

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