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Raising a Son

My son just turned 1 yr old. I've been thinking alot about the qualities that make a good man: honesty, respect, courage, strength, endurance, compassion, etc... and also about the things I want to instill in him. For example, I want him to have an appreciation for books, I want him to know about his family, I would love if he picked up our native language and finally, I want him to be adventurous and happy all the days of his life. My question is: how do we (as moms) accomplish raising a son? How do we instill in him values and morals and integrity? The task seems like Everest to me.

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xXAdrianXx

Asked by xXAdrianXx at 6:00 PM on Jun. 4, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (10)
  • It's really no differnt then raising a daughter. Just teach him to be a good person.
    sammiesmom2000

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 6:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I really dont know, and that scares the crap out of me! The responsibility of it is overwhelming sometimes! Just do the best you know how, that's all i can figure!
    MommaTurbo

    Answer by MommaTurbo at 6:06 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • My son is turning half a century old this week!!! I also have two daughter nearly grown. From when my son was very little and even now, we've had our share of problems. But I was always hands on not much went past me but here and there. First I never tolerated and told him so when our second and third were born, and I told them that too as they grew even when young ... that bullying a sibling or a peer would never be tolerated. And to use words to express anger because words can be explained with other words never use fists or bats or what ever. I praised a lot but I didn't spoil with buying what ever they wanted. I left stores mid shopping when kids misbehaved.

    If my son and my daughters as they grew got into fight with friends I listened to problems if it didn't cool down in a bit and then I usually blamed every one. It takes two and more to keep a problem going. Teach respect life, things every day. Every day.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I'm old being, I'm 513anon but not in my seventies!!!! ... my son is turning a quarter of a century old this week, he's turning 25 years old. I look at him and can't believe this incredible human being came from me!! Moms - teach what you want them to know and what they must know every day. Remind them in games, random compliments ... Appreciate what they like although they're hardcore likes or addictions are not necessary to tolerate if that happens. Teach. Appreciate. Repeat.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:19 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Model who and what you want your son to be. He will believe your actions more than any words you could say. If you want him to love books, then share books with him--read to him & let him see you reading for fun as well. If you want him to speak your native language, speak it to him. Tell him about his family. But in the end realize that if your son becomes a person who only speaks English & would rather watch the movie than read a book, that doesn't make him a bad person, just different from you. More important are the values you instill in him & the love you share with him.
    funnyface1204

    Answer by funnyface1204 at 7:23 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I think you take each day as it comes. Each situation is a unique opportunity to teach another lesson. When you find a bird with a broken wing and you try to nurse it back to health, you teach compassion. When the bird doesn't make it and dies you teach about grief, loss, and disappointment. By the time he is 18 years old he'll have 6,570 days worth of lessons. Take every chance to teach that you get.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 9:15 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Lead by example. Actions speak louder than words. I've taught my son from early on that we use our words and that we never hit. This was re-inforced when he started karate. I've taught him to respect other people and that girls are just as strong and just as smart as boys. Now at a whopping 4 years of age he's a very funny, loving, nurturing, polite, respectful little boy who opens the car door for his mom :)

    We also have a girl and we through the double standard out the window. Neither one of them can date until they are 16.

    Just do the best you can, that's all anyone can do.
    sadira29

    Answer by sadira29 at 9:26 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I think we might be thinking too much. How to: by being available, by being the best person you can be, and by leading by example. If you want him to be compassionate show him compassion and let him observe your compassion for others. If you want him to read and value education let him see you reading and learning about things that interest you. Make time for it and up plug all that technology often. If you want him to be honest, then be honest as well. Mirror all the things you want for your children. Tell them as they grow what characteristics you hope and dream they will have. Share with them that you are a team, learn from them, and love them. That is how to raise a child, daughter or son, that is all those things and then some. Not a recipe but you can go grab a mirror and start practicing.
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 9:52 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • We teach them what we think is right and pray for the best!
    ArmyWife112908

    Answer by ArmyWife112908 at 10:12 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Just raise him to be moral, kind, giving, understand and expose him to everything you can that you feel is important. I am happy that my son...he is 23, can fix his own car, play football with his buddies and enjoy the outdoors. He also would give you the shirt off his back to help you out and if you go in his room there is a poster of a painting by Vangough next to the poster of Metalica. His cd collection includes Randy Travis, Motzart, and 9 inch nails. He plays gituar, swims like a fish, and eats like a horse. He has a wonderful young woman for a girlfriend and is the best big brother my other 4 could ever ask for. He visits the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as well as our local art museum. Don't be scared, just instill your values in him, keep on him always so he doesn't slip away, but let him be free enough to become his own person and you can't go wrong.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 10:53 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

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