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Always asking for things and money!

My 15 yr old is constantly asking for "stuff". I recently have been laid off and can not afford any extra "stuff" I have been saying no. When I was working I used to say yes sometimes but now it is always no. It is hard to teach teens this day about "tough times" they just dont get it. Is anyone going through the same thing? He is a good boy, I wish I could do more for him.

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dillonsma

Asked by dillonsma at 6:29 PM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Level 5 (81 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • sigh. It's hard isn't it. Just be honest and tell him he didn't do any thing wrong to make you be with out a job. It's not that he ate too much food or ate school lunch too many times or went to the movies too much. Reassure him since he's a good guy. Just tell him the country the world is like this.
    Ask him for his own advise to track money and watch it more. Could he get some kind of job now for his own few dollars a week? We're eating in this year for my son's birthday instead of out cause of cost. I'd rather do something special at home or for him with that money that pay a restaurant. Since your son is a good boy, he sounds like my son who's in his twenties but not married. My son is working and living at home. Ask your son to help you clip coupons and plan menus from where ever your money comes from. Alot of people are like you. You're not alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • I have always been on a very tight budget. When we go shopping, it is ALWAYS the basic stuff. And anything extra is a treat. These is how my kids were raised. To help them understand, especially as they got older, I would walk them through the finances. Show them, what, if anything is coming in as for income. Then show them the bills, including rent or house payment. Then show them whats left, then show them receipts for groceries and household items that are needed, i/e soap, shampoo, and so on. Make sure they understand that everything will be okay, so they don't worry, but things are going to be tight for a while.


    You might be amazed with what they understand, and they might appreciate the full out honesty. Plus, this will be a good lesson for them, about where money goes.


    Good luck, and I'm sorry to hear that your having a rough time.

    mommyaunt412

    Answer by mommyaunt412 at 6:38 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Now,that school is out,can he get a summer job to make some extra money,I don't agree sitting kids down,to discuss bills,today youth have so much of their own pressures,yes,you can discuss inflation,you can tell them not to waste,but, I don't think a child should feel guilty for wanted things.My DH who is 20 yrs. older than me,often tell me ,how he had to go out to work at 14,for the rest of his family,he didn't mind working,but ,he did mind,his parents taking the money for bills and groceries,and he didn't get to enjoy the money,because the family was under pressure,even today my DH is retired,but he still work 2 side jobs,he said,he still see his parents,I know its hard,I have see hard times too,but, my dear children never knew it,like I said,just being a youth of today is enough. Also,your child loves you,and,even though he's asking for things,that because he knows he can count on you to provide and love him.Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Just because he asked doesn't mean he has to get it. This is a good time to teach him how to wait and be patient. He is old enough for you to explain that this will be a little tight for a while. All he deserves is your love and I think he has that. The things - they don't make you happy anyway. Don't miss this opportunity to teach a wonderfully valuable life lesson.
    jesse123456

    Answer by jesse123456 at 7:50 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • at 15 he can get a small job...most places wont hire him but he can do something else like mow lawns or something
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 8:23 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • then spend that money on WHATEVER he wants...and he'll learn responsibility
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 8:24 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Tell him to get off his lazy ass and make his own money.
    MammaBella

    Answer by MammaBella at 8:25 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Tell him to go ask the neighboors if they need their lawn mowed.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:23 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Have him call the Red Cross and find a babysitting class. My 13 year old charges $7 an hour; it turns out that parents prefer a mature teen who knows CPR and first aid to a flakey college student.
    We insist that 1/2 of her earning go to a savings account (that she can't touch until her 19th birthday). The rest she spends (digital camera, Ipod, juicy shorts, etc.).
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 1:45 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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