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engagement... i really want a commitment..need advice..

i have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now... but we have known each other for 10 years..we are expecting a baby girl in oct. well she is due the day after our 1 year ann. i really want to get engaged and get married one day.. i just dont know how to bring that subject up to him..u see he has been married twice and got divorced from them cuz they cheated on him and started gettin into drugs and stuff...when we 1st got together he told me that he nevers wants to get married again.. well not for along time at least.. well he adopted my son and now we are having a baby together and i feel that we should get married after she is born.. just really need some advice.. how do i talk to him bout it?? i dont want him to feel like he is being rushed to marry me or anything.. cuz the also the last to girls he was rushed with one girl and forced with the other(she claimed she was prego but never was.. she cant have kids) help plz

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:54 PM on Jun. 4, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • How did he adopt your son without you being married? What state are you in that allows that?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:03 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • You need to be open with him. Tell him how you feel that you want to someday be married and the fact that you guys have a family tell him you would like to be married. But tell him that there is no rush. Good luck
    Ambie0526

    Answer by Ambie0526 at 10:04 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • You need to talk to him. This is the kind of thing that need to get put on the table from the time things start getting serious.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 10:26 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • Validate his fears first.

    Then offer a small, courthouse style wedding. It doesn't have to be a big event. He's already adopted your son, and you just want to be a whole, official family.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:30 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • you need to just tlk to him about it...make him a nice dinner and just casually bring it up but this is really something you NEED to talk about
    hug4akiss

    Answer by hug4akiss at 10:35 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

  • If he says he doesn't want to get married, you can't force him! pressuring him will only push him away. All you can do is tell him your feelings...that's it! You shouldn't feel pressured to get married just because you're pregnant. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand your need for security, it's just that sometimes these things take time. I rushed into marriage because I was pregnant and It was a huge mistake!! I'm still married, I just wish my husband and I would have worked through so many of our differences before we got married. Premarital counseling would probably benefit you two. This can be an opportunity for him to work through his insecurities about marriage. Remember, whatever issues you have now, will intensify once you're married. Also, I know happy couples who have children and aren't married! Good luck to you!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:51 PM on Jun. 4, 2009

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