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Will he have a shot at custody?

My husband and I have been married 10 years and it just is not working. He is very self centered and treats my son and I as a burden. When he gets home from work he wants to just sit and watch TV. If we talk to him he gets made and rolls his eyes. He will watch until dinner is ready and then after dinner. He will tell our son he will play with him then ignore him. My son really is to the point at 6 years old that he does not like his daddy. He asks me why his daddy doesn't like him. I don't know what to tell him.

I told him tonight I was done and wanted a divorce. He said good luck with that and told my son to say bye to me he will never see me again. He reminded me his dad is wealthy and he will sink me in a custody battle. He is going to use my stay at a mental hospital three years ago against me he says. Continue

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • My psychiatrist has never liked my husband and felt he was the cause of my anxiety and mental breakdown and I do agree with him now. It is exhausting to have to be perfect all the time and to be ignored. He moved me 1700 miles from family and gets angry when I go visit. I talk to my family by phone and that is about it. I am scared his dad does not like me and would help him keep the only heir in the family. My son would not do well with these souless people. He is a fun and creative kid and would not fit their cold life and will never be one to constantly strive for perfection. Like me he lives in the moment and enjoys each day as they come. I know they will crush his spirit. I have a plan we have three joint accounts and we both have equal access to them. We have about 75k between the accounts and I can take up to half legally. I am going to take my half and then cash out my accounts he is a signer on. Continue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:43 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Will my past mental illness really make that much of an impact? My son was very small when I was in the hospital and the social workers all agreed I was safe to care for him. I love my son just got overwhelmed and had extreme exhaustion. I am starting to feel the same way now and really wished I could go to my moms. I don't know if I can leave the state with him. My mom said to get to her home and we would deal with it all later. I just don't want to screw up my chance for custody. I know my husband he hates to loose and will fight until he gets our son or gets me to change my mind. He has threatened to use his dads influence and money before. I am just so scared right now. My son is my life and I am his and I could not be apart from him. I did file a domestic violence report on him two years ago. I woke up to him having sex with me. I tried to get him off me and he held me down. Nothing was done. Continue.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I know I should not have gone back but he was threatening to take my son and I stayed. The past two years have been a nightmare because he has a high sex drive and if I don't have sex while awake he will have sex with me while I am asleep. I take strong sleeping pills so I don't wake up. I feel so stupid. When I met him I was an Executive in a company. I made a mid 6 figure salary and was very independent. Here I am 10 years later a woman who has no confidence and totally dependent on him. I don't want my son to grow up in this environment. Do you think he has a shot at custody and I will be stuck here in a town so far from family?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:54 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • You should talk to a lwayer about all of this and get their legal opinion. Honestly, while he has a shot because he is the father, i see no good reason for you not to have custody. Money doesnt mean much. It just means he can shell out for a high-priced lawyer. Plus, they might take into consideration the fact that your son thinks his daddy doesnt like him.
    MommyLee08

    Answer by MommyLee08 at 1:03 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • There is always a chance he could have a shot, it's the American Way but unless you are having problems now I can't see how he can bring up your hospitalization from years ago especially if you will have a good support system at home. As for leaving the state, you should go to www.womenslaw.org and link to Know the Laws then find your state and see what it says. If that doesn't prove helpful then go to www.avvo.com (that's 2 v's not a w) and ask a lawyer for free. You can also call a domestic violence shelter and ask them what the law is in your state or even the States Attorney's Office. As for the money, you need to get it quick and put it in an acct with your name only. If he thinks you will take it he can freeze the accounts on you.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:09 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Are you kidding me, what a mother fucker, have you talked to a lawyer yet, you could accuse him of psychological abuse towards you and your child. Who the hell does he think he is telling you that he has money? Let me tell you something, I'm a 27 y/o mom of an 11 y/o beautiful girl, I left the father of my child when she was 5 months, I didn't have a job, I was underage and couldn't find a job for 3 years, 3 years that only God know everything we had to go through, but today I don't regret leaving that bastard for one second. I know that because of my baby I was gonna have the strength to make it and raise her right, not in a house with her miserable father yelling at me or yelling at her, I left him for good and here we are, he couldn't prove shit in court and my daughter after all this years sees him as just any men in the street. Think about your son, he'll thank you later.
    pascualina11

    Answer by pascualina11 at 2:28 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

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