Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How can I stop my DD

from being in her father's wedding? Her soon to be SM asked her to be maid of honor. I don't want her to be in it.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:21 AM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • Im just curious but why dont you want her to be in the wedding? It sounds like you have an issue or two with your ex hubby and his soon to be mrs... obviously that is why he is your ex... but should your feelings be the same for your daughter? I mean, maybe it means a lot to her father that she is included! Who knows though....
    first off, how old is your DD?

    Answer by sxc_mom_of2 at 2:31 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • She is 21

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:32 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • then really you cant stop her from being in the wedding... I would just stand by your DD no matter what... you cant make her choose between her mother and her father, because if you make her choose, maybe since you are MAKING HER PICK between her parents, she just might choose her father just to get even with you! Making her pick isnt fair!!! Dont bring your DD into your problems that you are having or have had in the past, with your ex.... Put on a smile, fake or not and stand by your DDs decision!!!

    Answer by sxc_mom_of2 at 2:42 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • If she is 21 then she has every right to make that decision. I do not see the harm in her being in her father's wedding. I think it's kind of selfish of you to even think of asking her not to be in the wedding. If you were getting remarried, I'm sure you'd love for her to be in your wedding too.

    You just need to accept that your ex is getting married, even if you can't stand the woman and move on. It's not fair to put your daughter in the middle of whatever it is that is going on between you and your ex. It's her dad's big day and she wants to be a part of it.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 2:51 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I agree. Don't make her choose, that would be a huge mistake. She's my age and I know how I would feel if placed in that sit. She would honestly choose her dad to piss you off. It doesnt matter how close you are with her, she would be angry that her mother wont let her make her own decisions. If she were still a minor, I could understand you saying no but even then, your asking for a rebellion.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:55 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Please dont make this hard on her. She loves you and wants you to be happy but she also loves her dad and wants to be a part of this day. My mom put me in the middle and I hated her for it. She ended up getting the bulk of my resentment because she couldnt move on and because she couldnt take her frustration out on my dad, she used her children. Me and my brothers suffered because my mother wouldnt let go and had huge levels of hatred towards my SM. Its just been in the last 5 yrs that she has been able to come to terms with it and BOTH of them have been remarried for 13-15 yrs. Thats too long. I finally told her that she was not allowed to bring her drama into my home and my kids love my SM and my mother better not do anything to harm that relationship. Just be supportive of her and help her. Youre the mother, not the child.

    Answer by momofsaee at 8:44 AM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • You dont, why would you want to? Honestly there are no good reasons for her not to in it right? Sounds to me like you are just jealous and need to get over it

    Answer by hautemama83 at 12:42 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Your daughter is an adult, she has the right to do what she wants. I really don't think her being in her dad's wedding is your business, it is between her/dad/SM. If you put yourself in the middle of this-and try talking her out of it , it could backfire on you. She could get mad at you, it could get your ex mad at you, and it could cause problems with daughter and dad. I think you need to realize your daughter loves her dad, and she wants to celebrate his day with him. Just because she is going to stand up with SM does not mean she loves you any less YOU are her mother not SM.

    Answer by MizLee at 1:23 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.