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how do you deal with your husband that cheated????

I just found out my husband cheated,i have 2 kids with him how do i move on from here????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (12)
  • He would be my EX-husband?? That's how I would deal with it.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 12:56 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Watch Fireproof. Sometimes you have to lead your heart to love your spouse and to forgive them. Do you want a divorce? Don't use your heart to answer because the heart can be deceived. I hope that you guys are able to rapair your relationship. That is a really hard blow. It takes a man to romance the same woman for fifty years, or more, than to romance a different girl every night of the week.God bless you.
    Glickstein

    Answer by Glickstein at 12:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Are you considering staying with him? If so, go to counseling. If you are both willing to work on your marriage then you can get through this. If you are wanting to leave then I would go ahead and file for divorce. After the divorce is final you can apply for state help to help you with food, rent, etc. Good luck sweetie.
    vnw1405

    Answer by vnw1405 at 12:58 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • To be honest. It's over. It's done. If he was honest with me about it I really wouldn't mind. I would be a little bothered that he didn't let me know prior but wouldn't be to bothered unless he lied to me. You only have 2 options. Learn to live with it, deal and move on OR split up...

    Personally a little sex wouldn't be nearly enough to break up my marriage. I would just make it clear that if he were ever going to do that kind of thing again, I want to know about it and he better be doing it safely. - Oh, and I would make it very clear that this coin has 2 sides. If he continues to get his kicks else where I can too... I probibly wouldn't but that would most likely stop him from continueing.
    SabrinaMBowen

    Answer by SabrinaMBowen at 12:58 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Glickstein - FANTASTIC movie..........however, I don't think that that excercise works if the spouse cheated.

    My suggestion is to search within your soul. He broke trust, think about that. For the rest of your time together you will doubt him, you will down where he says he's going, who he's talking to. Is that a life you want? Also, staying with him gives him the opportunity to feel that it's "ok" to treat you that way. Not to mention, is that the example you want to teach your children? In my book, cheating is a deal breaker. I'm not 100% on board with the "if he cheats once, he'll do it again" because some don't. But it's more a trust issue. And personally, I would NEVER be able to trust him again. And for me, that means it's time to walk away.
    TheDiva320

    Answer by TheDiva320 at 1:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • THE MINUTE I WERE TO FIND OUT HE CHEATED THAT WOULD BE IT FOR OUR MARRIAGE, HE KNOWS MY FEELINGS AND HOW I WOULD REACT SO CHEATING WOULD MEAN, HE JUST DOESN'T CARE. I CAN PUT UP WITH A LOT OF THINGS BUT CHEATING IS NOT ONE OF THEM.
    older

    Answer by older at 1:03 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • When my friend's husband cheated I asked her this: Do you still love him? Do you want to keep the marriage? Do you think you can trust him again? If you do love him and want to keep the marriage then I suggest you sit down with him and talk it out. Let him know how hurt you are, and find out what is going on with him. If BOTH of you want to stay married then you both have to give it your all. If you do not want to stay married then I suggest you consult a lawyer asap- see what your legal rights are, and start the ball rolling for custody/child support. Either way I think counseling would be a good idea. I hope things work out for you-- good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 1:05 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • My husband cheated on me and we are no longer together divorced now. Knowing what I know now I think we could of worked out a little. I would never be able to trust him again though he didn't have the guts to tell me I found out the hard way. Which has made unable to trust anyone.
    kkhotmama

    Answer by kkhotmama at 1:20 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • To be honest i would tell him to move out for a few weeks and not to contact me. You need time to deal with everything. This will allow him to see what he can loose and this will give you a chance to see if you can live without him or you want to forgive him. Having time away from each other to think might be the best for you both. This would also show him that you don't need him to live your life that you are stronger then that. Thats what i would do. I wouldn't even contact him for at least 2 weeks. If he really loves you and wants to work things out he will find a way to work this out. Just remember to stand your ground if you don't then he can do it again because he knows that you will just get over it. Put him in the situation where he would be if he lost you and the kids and it might make him think. I hope that things work out and he dont hurt you again.
    Jessi101088

    Answer by Jessi101088 at 2:01 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Um how about a divorce. There's no reson why a man cannot live out his life remaining faithful to one women.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:02 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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