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how do i get my b/f to go to the doctors?

my b/f - my daughters fathere has a lump on his side my his arm pit. Im worried just cause his mom died of cancer and it runs in his family. Ive told him many times to go to ther doctors and get it check out, but he still hasen't. I just dont know what to do? does anyone have any ideas on how i can get him to go. or even scare him to go and at least get it checked out.

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Asked by mamaoneil at 1:38 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (8)
  • Maybe that's why he doesn't want to go...he's scared. But yet he's a man and doesn't want to admit it...I mean if he saw his mother die of cancer perhaps he fears the same outcome...its only natural. Try reassuring him...if it's nothing then its nothing, but if its something its better to catch it early and we'll get through it together. Offer to go with him and follow through. He needs your support...not scare tactics.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:41 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • oh he's terrified. make the appt for him and say you're going out for ice cream.

    Answer by staciandababy at 1:41 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Hes not going because he is afrade of what it could be.
    His mom just died, where most would think he would be running out for a full body scan, there wrong.
    Now he has a lump, and his mother just died of cancer, hes not gonna get that checked anytime soon, after he greeves the loss of his mother he will go to the doctor on his own time, prolly wont talk to you about it though.
    just let him be for awhile.

    Answer by judith_visco at 1:42 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • this is what i would do. make an appt for him w/o him knowing about it. then ask him to go with you to the Dr.'s for "your appointmen" when u get there ask the receptionist that when you call him for filling out paperwork to call your name instead, fill out his paperwork and hand it in. Then when they call him in to see the doctor, he will probably be pissed at you but at that point he might actually go in since he's already there.

    Now if he's not a nice reasonable fellow, then dont try it. but if he's like my husband, he'll be a bit pissed but appreciative in the end. Good luck, men are such sissies, lol

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:47 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • dont let him wait too long, a lump can be anything from a tumor, to a cyst to a lipoma(fatty benign tumor) or enlarged lympg nodes.. best to get it checked quick.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:52 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I've learned that you can't make anybody do anything they don't want to do. Tell him you are not sticking around to bury him if it turns out to be cancer. If he doesn't go to the doctor NOW then he doesn't value the time he can spent with you and his children. So you will be better off preparing to raise the children by yourself than by trying to help this boyfriend of yours to be mature and responsible for his own health.

    You are his girlfriend, not his mom, she is dead and there is a possibility he could have the same thing that killed her and the more he delays treatment the less likely he will survive it.

    Love, understanding reasoning hasn't work so far, so try tough love instead and he is so bull headed he still doesn't want to go and have it check, dump his ass invest your energy and efforts in your children instead. if he was your husband you have already said for better or worst, but for a boyfriend too much work.

    Answer by bebita at 2:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • wow bebita, he's not JUST a boyfriend he's her partner and childs father. before we married my husband was my boyfriend and childs father and i would never have dumped him because he didnt want to go to the doctors. I'd say dump him if he cheats or beats you but not becuase he scared of finding something wrong. not everyone has the same strength. It can be incredible scary to possibly find out that u can have something really wrong with you. There are too many broken families why have another one just because he's scared.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:22 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I was talking to my mom about it and she told me that i should make a doc apt for him and bring him to it. that is one thing im not gonna do is break up with him just cause hes not gonna go to the doctors. He means the world to me and his daughter and i know his daughter is is world. he also told me he felt a lump by his jaw too. Now im not to sure what kind of cancer his mom dies of 6 years ago. but he did watch her die off. I didnt know him then but what i did hear is it put him in a bad place. I think what i am gonna do is talk to him and tell him that he needs to go to the doctors and get it checked out. if not for me then for our daughter. she needs her father in her life weather it being her 16th b-day her graduation day her wedding anything that involes her.

    Answer by mamaoneil at 7:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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