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make him grow up?

Im nineteen and I had my first child on march 17. My SO will be 26 years old in November, we live with his parents becuase he refused to get his ged while I was pregnant, and although he works he doesnt have a license because he has yet to finish paying off fines from a problem he had 5 years ago. I love him to death but he just will not grow up, I've tried leaving, and he does good for a while then screws up, I've tried yelling, I've tried crying, I've tried threatening NOTHING WORKS. hes not a bad person he just will not grow up and act like an adult with a child! I didnt make this baby on my own, I shoulnt have to raise him alone!

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Asked by lilmama31709 at 4:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • You can't change someone else all you can do is decide what you can and cant live with.

    Answer by ria7 at 4:06 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • you sound pretty grown up for 19, good for you! as for your man, honey, i don't think they ever grow up, mine is 31 & still acts like an ass

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:09 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Sounds like your'e going to have to though(raise your child on your own.).Go find a man not a boy.

    Answer by louise2 at 4:12 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Well, you are the mom, you choose the dad, so you do the math.

    Is he worth? In my opinion no. Are you to raise your child by yourself? Most likely even if he is there because he is of no help at all. The million dollar question is: Do you stick around for more: If you are a bit smart, you ran the other way and cut your loses, you focus on the only good thing you have: That i syour child, the dad is useless based on what you said.

    You are still young, you can get an education and be a role model for your child, as long as you put your kids interest above your needs (need to be loved, etc) you'll be fine.

    As for the loser dude: if at 26 he still living with his parents, made a baby out of wed, doesn't have a ged, has "previous legal problems" honey, ran the other way NOW.

    Answer by bebita at 4:18 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I hate to tell you but for some men it takes longer for them to grow up. My boyfriend before I met my now husband was 28 and totally immature and needed to grow up in a major way...that's why I left.

    Answer by MommaM2 at 4:42 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Interesting.

    It is absolutely true that you can't make anything important to other people. You can, however, make it clear (and consistent) what is important to you. You can, when you have loving influence, encourage people to take responsibility and pitch in. You can't nag, complain, criticize, bribe, threaten, coerce or force it, though -- because all of those tactics you'll see in movies and on tv, and all around you every day, are immature.

    Maturity says 'this is what I am going to do, and this is what I hope you will do, I'm on your side and I think you can do better than you've been doing.'

    Immaturity say 'do what I want you to do because I am the boss of the world.'

    Why would anyone even want to grow up when it looks like more of someone else controlling everything and having to do what you're told all the time? Make growing up look more attractive, more rewarding (because it is) than being a slacker.

    Answer by LindaClement at 4:50 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • whew girl im in the EXACT same boat you're in... only diff is im pregnant now and dealing with this.... ha reading it i thought it was something i posted, thats how similar my situation is... he just doesnt get the hint that its beyond time to grow up and be a man!!!!! (im 20 and SO is 23)

    Answer by rainylittlebug at 6:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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