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Why does it hurt so much ..?

He cheated on me, so why am I the one who feels like shit?! I'm leaving his cheating ass in two weeks after I get my little one and I packed up and I feel so lost .. I don't want to feel like! I want to be strong and hold my head high and I can't .. I'm the one that feels sad and broken over it, while my now Ex just blows me off. Shouldn't he be the one that's torn over loosing his family and I be the one who won't look back?

When will it stop hurting..? When will I stop loving him..?
This sucks and hurts so much =(

Answer Question
 
DesignerMom0801

Asked by DesignerMom0801 at 5:02 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Level 4 (42 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I'm so sorry! What an a$$!!!

    Betrayal hurts and takes a long time to heal. He may not feel it right away, but guilt hurts a hell of a lot too. It may take time, but he'll get his. When you and your baby are gone and he is alone, he'll get to thinking.

    Again I'm so sorry... I with I could bust his knee caps for you.
    beckcorc

    Answer by beckcorc at 5:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • girl, you need to cry for like two days, i did.. it will take about a year for the hurt to stop, another year for the looking to see if thats him in a car he drives, the frog and lumb in your chest when you have to bring the kid for his time takes FOREVER!!! but this to shall pass.. It will take time, dont try to rush this..
    HottMamaRossx2

    Answer by HottMamaRossx2 at 5:08 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Betrayal hurts because you think it has anything to do with you. It's a commentary on your attractivceness or your value. Of course, it isn't -- anymore than the weather is, but we like to sell ourselves on these fairy tales because we keep hoping that people will stop being people and start being magically capable of fulfilling us and refuting the nasty things we think about ourselves in our own minds.

    Why ever would you want to stop loving anyone? How would that make you feel better about yourself?

    If you love him, truly madly deeply, then you want him to be genuinely happy, yes? Like, not 'except if it makes me feel less than I want to feel' but actually, genuinely happy for him being happy. That's love.

    Controlling people (and their behaviour and their emotions) is not love, it's insanity.

    Btw: there is no 'should' in who feels bad. It's always a choice.
    LindaClement

    Answer by LindaClement at 5:17 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • of course its gonna hurt hes ur babys dad and u loved him.. but try ur hardest to stay strong for ur kid.. think about how much worse ur life would have been if u were still with him and not knowing. but dnt worry it will hit him and he will realize that his kid is growing up healthy and strong because his momma made him that way.. just have faith okay and keep ur eyes and mind open to bigger better things.
    bubbles282008

    Answer by bubbles282008 at 5:20 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • took me 2 full years to get over the hurt and broken heart of being cheated on (to the point where I could talk/think about it without BAWLING)...sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear, or if that seems like SUCH a long time...but everyday, things get just a tad easier. the first few months seem like you'll NEVER get over it...but I promise you, you will! if you don't feel like being strong right now, that's okay! it's okay to be sad, and it's okay to be heartbroken, you're hurt! just make yourself (AND YOUR DAUGHTER!) the promise that you WILL make the effort to get past the heartache...it CAN be done! I promise!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:40 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • why not just forgive him and stop hurting?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 5:41 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I'm sorry that it hurts but it's going to for a while. The way I thought about it, is that God had something better planned for me and he did. I have a wonderful husband and a gorgeous daughter. Something better is out there for you. Cry and cry because you need too. But after, think about what might be in store for you. HUgs!
    mrsmendoza2006

    Answer by mrsmendoza2006 at 5:50 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • IM SORRY the hurt wont stop until you can actally forgive him and even if your not with him you have to forgive him for the hurt to go away for good my dh is still hurting over his ex and weve been together for two years and when he see her driving or some where he gets mad and upset and then if we drive by her road he looks down it like the first 6 months we were together and then it stop for bout a year and now hes doing it again and i told him if she didnt break his heart me and him wouldnt be together and we wouldnt have our lil girl and he smile but even if you dont get back with him forgive him and if you truelly love him tell him good bye cuz it will help you not hurt as much you dont have to say it to him just say : his name good bye GOOD LUCK AND IM SORRY
    myangelelena

    Answer by myangelelena at 8:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Since you two have a child together you will always, in some degree care for him. I had this problem with my first and I was destroyed. I thought we were going to be a family forever and he didn't seem to care. Then one day I decided to move on. I bought a new outfit that complimented my body, got my hair and nails done, and went out with some friends. My best friend had my dd for the night and I got have some fun. I flirted with every guy I could. I did this for several weeks, not the going out but the flirting. Finally I found a really great guy. My dd was more than a year old before I was able to settle down with a guy and resume relations, but I got over it. And now 5 years later I am more happy than ever and there is no one that can take that away. Good news is, he WILL have to pay for the baby. Good luck, drown your sorrows for awhile and then when you are ready, move on.

    krissyvelazquez

    Answer by krissyvelazquez at 8:13 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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