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What the hell is wrong with me?

After I gave birth, I have lost my sex drive... I have been with my fiance for almost 10 years and he still thinks that I am sexy. (even though I know I need to loose weight and haven't been really myself since our daughter was born) Why don't I want to have sex anymore?

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Asked by USNmomwife at 5:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Health

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Answers (9)
  • How old is your baby? Initially after giving birth your hormones are still getting back to normal and this can cause your sex drive to either increase or decrease. I'm sure it will come back soon, just give it some time.

    Answer by tnm786 at 5:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • It could be a hormonal imbalance, it could be fatigue and/or self-esteem issues from physical or emotional changes, it could be postpartum depression. It might also be normal, if you are in the first year (or especially, first 6 months) with your baby -- exhaustion, changed priorities, body image issues, and shifting hormones can wreak havoc with the libido.

    You say you don't feel like yourself - does this extend to all areas of life, not just the bedroom? Or is it primarily a libido problem?

    Answer by Collinsky at 5:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • It is mainly a libido problem. The only other difference is that I am becoming lazy.. LMAO.. My daughter is 14 months. I figured that this NO LIBIDO problem would go away.. any ideas on what I should do?

    Answer by USNmomwife at 5:10 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • After 14 months, I would speak with a health care provider.

    Answer by rkoloms at 7:31 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Well mabe your just not happy with the way you look after giving birth. It's hard to make love when your not loving your self righy at the moment. Try to get back in shape loose the extra pound's, then you might feel better about it..

    Answer by magonolia at 9:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Are you eating well, getting some sunshine each day, some exercise (even a walk in the afternoon)... for me laziness and low libido hit at about the same time, and it was while I was pregnant with my fourth (made it through 3 other pregnancies without any issues of the sort!) and my baby is 16 mos old and I'm just now coming out of it. I had a lot of things checked, which you can have your PCP run the bloodwork for you as well - low iron, B vitamins, electrolytes (esp. if there is any weakness, shakiness, palpitations, etc), and thyroid. Watching my diet, getting good sun and fresh air, getting some exercise and taking B complex vitamin, chlorophyll, and nettle tea or alfalfa tea were all VERY helpful to me. At any rate, none of those things is going to be harmful, they are totally safe even if you are breastfeeding and might really help you out.

    Answer by Collinsky at 1:11 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Also, I think we have certain expectations of ourselves that simply aren't realistic. If you have other mom friends, you might chat with them, and find out that they feel similarly. Sometimes the only thing wrong with us is our expectations. :-)

    PS There are some herbs that are safe and can be gotten easily that are supposed to perk up the libido... I mean like regular herbal teas, nothing exotic. If you'd be interested, let me know! And ginseng capsules are EXCELLENT for perking you up, motivation, libido, etc... but not if you are pregnant or breastfeeding, just FYI.

    Answer by Collinsky at 1:14 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • go to ur dr explain ur problem and get some vigra...that little blue pill is great!

    Answer by rainmommy at 4:10 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • If you come up with an answer will you let me know? My youngest is 2 and I could care less still....

    Answer by kryssie78 at 3:31 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

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