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Am I being foolish?

To even consider adoption? We have four bio kids, but I have always wanted to adopt a child - since I knew about the concept of adoption when I was a child. Dh wasn't on board, so I shelved the idea as something to maybe revisit later or something that wasn't for me after all. In the past couple years Dh has become very open to the idea of adoption -- both of us have agreed that we'd enjoy adopting young siblings if we could. He primarily wants to focus on domestic - my heart was for international, but I'm open to the possibility of domestic adoption or foster-adopt.

I'm just not sure if this is ridiculous. We make enough to live well without public assistance, but we are by no means well off. We already have four small children and aren't actively preventing future pgcies.

I just keep coming back to this, over and over, and it feels so right for us. But is it foolish? Something I should forget about, or wait a few years?

 
Collinsky

Asked by Collinsky at 7:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Adoption

Level 10 (376 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (13)
  • I think it's wonderful that you want to adopt. And it's true that there are so many children in foster care that are waiting to be adopted, so that would be a good route to go. Please understand though, that the children in foster care have tremendous baggage. They have issues that take years and years to overcome. Alot of their issues don't even show up until they hit puberty. So I would just be sure you have a very strong marriage and a great support system. You may want to wait until your children are older also. I'm definitely not discouraging it. We have adopted four sisters from foster care. We love them more than anything and know they were meant to be ours! But I also wouldn't want you to think that just bringing a foster child into a loving home will solve all of their problems. Good luck!!!!!

    LeftBrainy, just out of curiosity, why wouldn't you adopt again?
    Littlebit722

    Answer by Littlebit722 at 8:36 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • No not at all, but I say adopt from here. We have so many children right here in foster care waiting for a home.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I thnk you should wait until one kid it out th ehouse...lol
    yeah apoting sounds so great but u may wanna wait or try the foster programs...those are kids who really need homes and its temporary.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 7:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I don't think it's foolish. There are so many children out there that need loving homes, you would only be doing them a favor. Whether to wait a while or not is up to you and your family, is it the right time to bring another child in now or would waiting be a better option would be a good family discussion. GL =)
    tnm786

    Answer by tnm786 at 7:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • YOu sound a bit like me. With the exception of the fact that we are not having anymore bio children. We have "fixed" that issue...LOL. We have 4 kids as well. My oldest is almost 15 and my youngest is 3. I have thought about adoption as well because I feel it best represents Gods relationship with me and because I am a christian, I wanted to experience this. My SIL is an adoptive mom of 3 asian children and they are a tremendous blessing, but it did not come without much sacrifice and trials. I think that if this is in your heart, then its there for a reason. You can change your mind, but I dont believe you can change your heart on an issue like this. International is quite expensive, but Im sure you know that. I dont think its foolish to want to follow your heart. Depending on how old your kids are, I would find a child that is younger than yours or close to your youngest. Sounds like youre a great mom with a great heart. GL.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:05 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • if you think you guys could handle another child, I'd go for it. There are so many kids that need homes out there, if your willing to be one of the few to help them, good for you! We want to adopt later on, after we have a couple, at least one more. thats something weve both always wanted to do too! Good Luck, and i hope everything goes good!
    Jessica1991

    Answer by Jessica1991 at 7:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • i agree that you should adopt domestically, there are kids here in our own country, homeless, and starving and they deserve it just as much as those in other countries.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:07 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I personally think you should wait until your own are a lot older, time goes by fast & can you afford college for 4 kids? I just think you should wait until your children are older, then do foster adopt. Domestic adoption runs between 15,000-30,000 on average, you've already experienced 4 babies, take a couple of foster kids in a few years that really need a family, the newborns for domestic have plenty of childless couples fighting over them!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:19 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I did adopt my younges, and if I had it to do over...I wouldn't adopt.
    LeftBrainy

    Answer by LeftBrainy at 8:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Wow leftbrainy, that must really hurt your youngest one, how old is she/he???
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2009