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Anger with others addressing your child?

The question about the child drinking pool water was just deleted. Basically the mother was livid that someone told her child "Oh sweetie, don't drink that" and was ranting that people should mind their own business. This poses the question: What is okay? If you are upset by something like this, but another person talking to or directing your child in public settings, where does the line get drawn? School teachers? Police? Or is it just that random strangers don't have your child's best interest at heart? Why do parents who feel offended by others speaking to their children get so upset about it? If it were mine, I'd be thankful that another human cared enough to interact in such a pleasant way. And if I didn't mind I would directly address the other adult as to why the behavior was okay with me as mom... Why do other's jump to anger over these things??

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CooksWife

Asked by CooksWife at 7:22 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 5 (59 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • Hmm... I don't know. I don't really mind, as long as they're trying to look out for my child. Some parents just think "No one knows better than me!"
    Annabel1809Lee

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 7:27 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I have a tendency to have a defense mechanism sometimes with other people, but this particular scenario wouldnt have bothered me. Obviously I would be okay with others gently guiding my child if I wasnt looking. I would have said...was he doing that? Oh no, thanks for noticing. But I dont like others correcting my children before Ive had a chance to crawl their butt first. My kids are not babies and if another mom has to get onto them, then I want to know why and what they did. I hate it when Im standing right there and another person corrects them for something I dont see as a big deal. I dont get onto my kids about every little thing, but also HOW they say it means everything. I feel that those who love my kids and have their best interest at heart have more liberty than those who do not, but I still like the chance to correct in my own way. For instance, my kids know no running at gmas and gpas. I want to do the correcting.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:27 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • i don't mind if my child is doing something thats not safe and i didn't see it, or if she were to be hurting another child (she never has but if she were and i didnt see it i wouldnt mind) however i'd also like to know that way i can take care of it as well.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 8:40 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I don't mind if the person is saying something because my child was doing something unsafe and they didn't go overboard especially if I didn't see it happen.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 9:00 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I subscribe to "it takes a village to raise a child". Among my friends and neighbors, sometimes parents are interchangable.
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 9:11 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • IDK I just don't like it much, but it also depends on who is saying it and why.
    BaisMom

    Answer by BaisMom at 9:24 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Bais I am really not trying to be rude with the question and I appreciate you being honest because rereading it sounds like I might have come across as attacking. I assure you I am not meaning that. My problem is that I have had people get REALLY upset over this and even now as a mother myself I just don't get it. The only feeling I have if another parent (appropriately of course!) addresses my child is a bit of embarrassment :) For the most part I just don't see the offensiveness of it and certainly not cause for anger...


    I can recount one time recently where I didn't say anything to another child and I really wanted to. I refrained because I was extremely angry with the child for pushing mine. Saying anything at that point would have been unwise because it probably wouldn't have been appropriate and would have been more directed at the child's parent anyway...

    CooksWife

    Answer by CooksWife at 10:02 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • It takes a village to rase a child, hands down...
    20 years ago you couldnt walk down the street and kiss a boy with out someone calling your parents and informing them... thats how parents stayed on top of things EVERYONE was looking out for the best of the children, not only there child.
    children respected adults, and you new if Mrs.Smith down the street saw you throw a peice of trash on the ground your parents would tan your hide!
    I miss working as a team to make sure all our children were well behaved and well mannord, but now we have babies raseing babies and silly parents that think that "they no best" and stick up for there child even when they do something we all no is wrong, like stealing or cheating. Alot of parents will protect there kids when they do things like that, instead of making them face there punishment.
    those are bad parents and the reason why it should be a group effort!
    judith_visco

    Answer by judith_visco at 2:29 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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