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My husband cheated on me with a woman with 4 kids

in his job where we both met 6 years ago.We have 2 beautiful kids together,i threw him out i cant stomache him right now.Im single momming it now.I dont know what to do.Trust is broken.The woman that have forgiven,how do you do it????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • Its not her fault its his

    give yourself time to think

    maybe seperation is best
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 9:19 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • For me once was too much. I walked away, never look back and as painful as it was in that moment, I felt like I couldn't breath the next second, it was the best thing that could have happen to me.

    A decade later, I am married to a wonderful man, we have a beautiful healthy child together and I can say that I know what happiness means from my heart. Love doesn't hurt and it is a wonderful thing.

    About the cheater, is just a thing of the past. I never could hate him for it, I learned to forgive him and wish him well, I even say a little prayer or two for him occasionally.

    My answer is based in my experience, never settle for a cheater as it won't be love if you stay with him, it will be a living hell. Love doesn't hurt and cheating rotten among other things the core foundations of a successful marriage: trust, respect, love and selflessness.

    Good luck to you and breath a second at a time if you have to.
    bebita

    Answer by bebita at 9:28 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • My parents had an issue with this. My mother, God bless her, some how found it in her heart to forgive. She is amazing and her compassion is astounding to me. They are happily together now (going on 35 years!). It really really hurt me and MESSED me up. I have MAJOR trust issues from it. If you can help it, please try to avoid letting your children know what happened. It is so hurtful.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:58 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • At one time I would have left, now I would have to pray long and hard and I'd probably stay and try to work things out.
    I thank the Lord everyday I didn't marry a man who would cheat.
    SoKamele

    Answer by SoKamele at 10:03 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I have a friend who went through something like this (not 4 kids) and she says that the important thing is to never make a decision while still fresh with emotions. She got into counseling, she yelled and screamed at him as much as she needed to (and he let her) and then they got marriage counseling together when she still didn't know what she wanted. After the counseling, yelling, screaming and calming down she decided to trust him again, but it took time. He also has to be 100% honest about everything in his life or he knows that she may be gone for good.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Read the book WHY MEN CHEAT. It is based on a real study and the men said they cheated mainly bc of how they were treated at home. So it's NOT her fault. It's a family problem. You are just as much to blame as he is so forgive yourself then forgive him and work it out. She made him feel something he needed to feel from you. Figure it out and fix it. Nuff said.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:41 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • One of the best peices of advice my friend got when her DH cheated was from their counselor who said "You dont have to make any decisions right now. You can be totally neutral. Talk about it and dont let your kids see anything wrong and then once you feel it out, you will know what to do."
    I think it has alot to do with how you found out and how much remorse he has. Good Luck, I am sorry you have to go through this. I was cheated on once when I was younger and while I left him right then and there, we eventually became friends again and I have forgiven him. (I would never be in a relationship with him again though.)
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 11:30 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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