Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Would you forgive him/her?

If you overheard a conversation from your SO talking to their "friends" about you, and they were making you out to be this horrible person, i.e, a B*tch , and you've never met these people.. would you forgive your SO? How would you react??

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • If my DH heard me talking about him ...i would die! He was venting. We all need to blow off steam sometimes. I would not appreciate what he said or how it made me look to these people. But ...they do not know you. Whenever I hear someone bashing their spouse really badly makes me wonder, If they are that bad then why are you with them? He may be the person that they are looking at with the criticism and not you. My DH's brother is always putting him down to others...ya know what people think..they think that he is the jerk..not my hubby. I know your feelings are hurt. You should really talk to him and ask him why he said those things. Tell him how much it hurt. take care ...keep your chin up!

    Answer by MommasCooCoo at 2:21 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I would confront your SO about what you heard. I would let it be known that talking bad about you behind your back won't be tolerated. That would be the kind way of doing it. I would soooo b!tch slap my DH if I ever heard him speaking of me in a bad manner.

    Answer by Navy_Wife_Tisha at 2:24 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I think this happens more than we realize or want to realize! in some cases I'd write it off as simple venting, I mean, I vent like crazy to my girl-friends- so..?
    in other cases- it can definately be more hurtful! I think the "forgiving" part is dependant on those circumstances and your relationship...

    Answer by brighteyes07 at 2:42 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • If I were you I wouldn't say anything. But since you know that he said those things why don't you try to get to know them and let them or you guys pay them a visit and then they can see first hand. I know you may have been hurt by what you heard this does happen a lot more than you think.

    Answer by Mz_Lady1978 at 3:36 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I'd try to forgive only because I really believe in forgiving. I think if you hold grudges it totally pulls you down mentally, physically, spiritually, not to mention passing it on to your kids.

    Whatever it was he was complaining about really must've bothered him and maybe you can change some of those things. I would definately tell him though that you overheard it, are working on yourself, but that you felt hurt/ embarassed and would he refrain from doing that...

    Answer by TXdanielly at 7:59 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • There is a difference between venting and bashing. I vent to my girlfriends, but I make it my absolute rule that I never talk negativly about him just because someone else is. If I truly have something SPECIFIC i need to get off my chest, I do. Otherwise the only words that leave my lips about him are words of praise. maybe share your feeling with your DH and let him know how hurt you were, maybe introduce the idea of venting versus bashing and see if he takes to it. Good luck.

    Answer by hannahjoy17 at 8:15 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I'd confront him about it and ask him why he was talking that way about you. I'd also tell him that it hurts and ask him if he has a problem with something that you did to make him angry, then tell you not his friends. Hopefully things will work out.

    Answer by jvann1 at 2:04 AM on Jun. 24, 2008

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.