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Do you think I am a bad mother?

When I found out I was pregnant I was a methadone patient. ( Was not addicted to herion so do ask that.) First off did not mean to get pregnant. Second I was told I probably could never have kids without IVF or something. I was going to stop the methadone but when I went to my first OB appt. he told me that if I went off the methadone that I would more than likely miscarry. I went to a second OB who said the same thing. They both said the best thing was to stay on it. So I did. My daughter was born premature but they assured me the metahdone had nothing to do with it. She was perfectly fine, she had no side effects or withdrawls. She is 5 years old now and actually above average for her age. Do you think I was wrong for continuing the pregnancy on the methadone even though I would have lost her if I stopped the methadone, and even though she is fine do you think I am a bad mother.


Asked by Anonymous at 9:23 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I really didn't want to answer your question,we, as, mothers often find something that we did wrong as moms,the next time you think you are a bad mom,just look at your daughter,look how beauitful she is, look how smart she is,and look how far you are because of her,because I am quite sure,like my children and grandchildren,I know your daughter give you a reason to live your life to the fullest,YES YOUR ARE A GOOD MOM !!!!

    Answer by lady-t3984 at 10:12 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • your fine....shes healthy and thats all that matters. you were advised to continue usage it might have saved her life...

    Answer by Dom123123 at 9:27 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I think you followed the advice of two trained medical professionals. They advised you as to what they thought was best for the health and safety of your pregnancy, which means that you did what you thought was best for the health and safety of your pregnancy, and therefore your daughter, based on what they told you. Was it wrong? I don't know. Did you do something wrong? Maybe, but you did it under the advice of a dr, so you even if you did, it wasn't intentional. You weren't, for example, getting drunk every night, or snorting cocaine once a week.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:27 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • you did what u had to to keep ur baby alive so no i dont think u are a bad mother. are u still on the drug or are u straight now? i hope u have quit drugs so u can be the best mom u can be now.

    Answer by ambiemomof2 at 9:29 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • You followed the drs orders! You were willing to quit and was advised against it, for the safety of your dd. I think as long as you've stopped now, you're doing great

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 9:31 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • You did not kill your baby! U gave birth and are'nt you glad you did not!!! God Bless You! both

    Answer by 2mothershelpers at 9:34 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • You followed the advice of 2 educated and trained professionals, and in doing so you have a beautiful daughter. It sounds to me like you are a selfless mother and you are moving forward with your life. I commend you for being so strong and doing what you were told and knew was best for your unborn child, and now you get to enjoy her everyday.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • agree with anon

    Answer by apexmommy at 9:42 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • no not if thatswhat two docs told you. its in the past you and your daughter seem to be doing just fine focus on that

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:04 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • You followed doctors orders and the result is a beautiful healthy girl. If you had gone off of the methadone your body probably would have suffered from the shock. When you stop a thing like that it is incredibly stressful on your body. When you are pregnant the idea is to stay as healthy as possible. Emphasis on the word POSSIBLE. Would it have been ideal for you to wait, get off of methadone, and then get pregnant? Sure. But we don't live in an ideal world and things happen. You didn't PLAN to get pregnant on methadone, you just did. When you did you did all the right things, you saw a doc, you got a second opinion, and you followed their advice. I'll tell you a secret, all moms have moments where they think they're terrible mothers... especially the best ones!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 PM on Jun. 5, 2009