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Unplanned second pregnancy bittersweet

I just found out I am pregnant with my second and it was completely unplanned. I feel like my son is too young to be a big brother he's only 16 months so he'll be a little over 2 when I have my second. Also, my fiance is not happy at all I'm not happy but at the same time I'm excited. There is nooo way I'm going to have an abortion, but can anyone give me some advicee on how to calm my fiance down and help me find a way that we can make it through this? Oh and by the way we live in a 1 bedroom apartment!

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (13)
  • We are in the same boat and our DS is only 9 months old! I was thinking about how everything was about to get much, much trickier. I also do informal daycare for a 4 month old, so you can imagine how difficult this will be. The more I obsessed, the more i panicked. But then just today, I thought "Well, you will figure out a way." And it was just that simple, because going from zero to one baby, one to two and now two to three, you always figure out a way to get things done, get things moved and still have your own identity. You also just have to deal with things as they come, thinking about everything at once is overwhelming, so focus on what you have to do in the near future. As far as the one bedroom apartment, get a lot of organizational bins! Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Calm down momma and just know everything will work out! I got pregnant with my second way before I had originally planned and they are just over 2 years apart and yes it can get stressful but I love my baby so much and you will too and just know that things have a way of working themselves out!

    Answer by tangyh at 11:09 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Ya it's called birth control or keep your legs closed!! And move to a bigger place!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Anon, grow up.

    Answer by Fallaya at 11:15 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • The third reply is idiotic. Take time out whenever you can to reconnect with your fiance. Facing it as a team is extremely important. Having a sense of humor about it together is also wonderful.

    Answer by smarshy at 11:15 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Wow, she needs support, not put downs!

    I would just give it time. He will get there, but it's a shock and he is scared about his ability to provide for a family of four. Just be loving and understanding until he comes around. Don't try to force him to be happy, just accept his emotions and he will get past it.

    Answer by kemclaughlin at 11:15 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • i long as u stick together u will be alright find the humor in the situation and enjoy being preggo.. i knew 1 couple who baby was only a month old when they got pregg with there2 baby. my aunts two oldest kids are 9 months apart. cant get much closer then hubby's ex has a 4 month old baby and she like 12 week preggo

    Answer by rainmommy at 11:21 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • wow huny i'm kinda in the same situation. i have a 3 year old, a 4 month old and just found out i'm pregnant!!!! and yes i kept my legs shut and i was on birth control!!! but it happened i was really angry at husband was happy...i guess the best thing is tell him it's gonna be hard yall will make it work every baby is a gift maybe not your plan but gods!
    when people plan god laughs

    Answer by AustinsMommy306 at 11:32 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I really like the first posts advice. That's so true. You had your first baby, and you made it through didn't you? Now you're a mommy and probably a pro at that! I think we all will do just fine. My son is 6 months old and I'll be 10 weeks pregnant, so I'm with you girl. I've been through every emotion; scared, excited, worried, embarrassed, everything at once.

    But I know it'll be fine. I'm not a religious person, but you gotta believe in something and so I believe that things happen for a reason whether they really do or not. My son was the most amazing/life changing thing to ever happen to me so far. I imagine this next baby will be just the same. The first couple weeks will be terrifying and I'll want constant help, but then it'll be better. My little boy will have a brother or sister! I know that he'll be the best older brother and my heart won't run out of room like I once thought it would, it'll find the space.

    Answer by ours at 11:50 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I think once it kicks in and he realizes that this is inevitable, he'll turn around. My bf freaked out when I first told him because right now we have nothing, he cursed me out, threatened me and told me to "drop dead, I hope you have all the complications in the world". Yep... Two days later he was crying that he missed me and even though hes against us having a child while we are financially unstable, he will do what he has to in order to be there for our baby and me. Men just need time. They suck at dealing with pressure. Me and my bf dont even live together, but this isnt about us anymore, this is about the baby.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

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