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Toddler Asks for Dad - What should I say?

My DD asks for her dad all the time. Or we were playing a game where she asks about animals and what noise they make. Then we got to what do babies do and they cry, mommies go shshsh, and she said, "What do daddies do?" and I don't have answer for her. Her daddy is in prison for 5 years. What should I tell her?


Asked by Anonymous at 11:39 PM on Jun. 5, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Maybe you can have him start writing her letters and you guys can read them together too. This might help fill a little of the void, does she write him? If not she could begin, you can write it for her and she can draw him pictures and send him pictures. Maybe she's asking this because she's beginning to be more curious about her dad and wants to be more involved with him. At the end of each phone call you should have him say "I love my little girl" so next time she asks you can smile at her and say "you know what daddy says..he says he loves his little girl"

    Answer by michelle0228 at 11:57 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Tell her that most daddies do the same things mommies do. If you plan to allow her to see her father once he is out of prison (or, if you're required to by law) I'd gently explain that he's not able to be her daddy right now, but will when he gets back. Say that he loves her and misses her and leave it at that. She doesn't need you to explain why he's gone, where he is or when he's coming back. Her toddler mind probably can't wrap itself around all of that information.

    Answer by MommyDumDum at 11:43 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • How old is she? Does she remember him, does she still have contact or phone calls with him?
    Maybe you could tell her daddy is gone for a while but he loves her very much and misses her. Tell her when he gets back they will do all sorts of fun things together, but only say this if he is going to be involved in her life when he gets out because other wise she will be disappointed. I don't know if this is the right thing to say, just an idea, I've never been in that situation. You can probably look up an online support group for that sort of thing and see what other mothers tell their children. Good luck, I'm sorry your in that situation.

    Answer by michelle0228 at 11:45 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • I wouldn't go into any long dialogue at this point. She isn't able to reason as of yet. But what you can say each time is " Daddy's say "I love my little girl!!"" And that should make it lots of fun for her, which is the intent and probably the truth. :)

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 11:47 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Daddy's say "I love my little girl!!""

    This is what I told her. She will have contact with him as I am waiting for him. She talks to him twice a week and will soon be visiting at least once a month and eventually every weekend.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:50 PM on Jun. 5, 2009

  • Thanks for the suggestions. She does color pages and I tell her we are sending them to daddy and he has sent her letters but I don't undertsand them as they are not in English. I save them for her scrapbook. She's almost 3.
    So thanks everyone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:05 AM on Jun. 6, 2009