Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Wondering eyes?

My boyfriend of 5 years has an issue with keeping his eyes to himself. It bothers me especially when he tries to hide it. He'll look and then turn his head really fast if I look at him. I dont mind him doing it when I'm not around but I think its utter disrespect if he does it while I'm right next to him.
He says its okay to look which we get into arguments about all the time. Its not about him wanting to look, its what the female he is looking at is thinking. Its just like flirting in front of me.
How many of you agree with me? If you agree with him then why?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:19 AM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • i agree with both of you to a degree. i think it is disrespectful to turn your head and stare at someone else while he is with you. i know i'd be mad if my husband did that. however, just because you are in a relationship doesn't mean that other attractive people don't exist. i've told my husband that if he's gonna look, at least let me know so it doesnt seem like he's tryiing to hide it. i have to admit i don't have the best self esteem so i dont like his wandering eyes, but i know that the only way he can stop looking at pretty people is if he went blind. he or I will bring it up when we see someone attractive, and we'll laugh about it. it's not a big deal. maybe he turns his head fast because he's afraid of your reaction. sometimes we ladies do overreact. most of the time it means nothing.. until he starts chasing these women down, i don't see that big of a problem.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:38 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • i agree and disagree to some extent.if it was a butt ugly person, would you even worry about this? I am 49 years old and I am not dead. If I see a drop dead gorgeoous man and I am with or without my husband, you bet I will look☺. Its just the way of the world in humans. if he stares at a woman, that is disrespectful to you and the woman he is looking at, but, if he just looks, no big deal. My husband looks at other women, but, does it bother me? Nope, it sure doesn't.If he started talking to this woman and actually flirting right there in front of you, thats different also, but, just to look is no big deal.He is married to you, so don't worry about it.Some women will dress provocatively just so a man will look at her,and I just laugh at the way she is dressed.Men do it too. They will also dress to catch attention.

    Answer by Kat122 at 7:01 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • looking and perving are different. Looking is acceptable when you are in a relationship BUT perving is NOT and is sleazy. I am not ok with my husband to do this and he finally understands my point. Just try to do it back to him by looking at a HOT guy and see how he likes it. I also dont believe in checking out other men. I have my man and to check oout other men while with him or alsone is disrespectful and rude,

    Answer by mummylovebaby at 7:17 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • A quick, subtle look is one thing. Turning your head with your tongue hanging out and drool dripping off your chin is another. People are always going to look at attractive people, no matter how in love they are with their spouse. My parents have been married for almost 33 years, and my mom will tell you that my dad still looks at other women. He doesn't do anything about it, just looks, and not obviously. I am in a new relationship, and I'll still look at cute guys. I'm very subtle about it, and so is he when he looks. I know he looks, but he is discreet. And as long as we both keep it subtle, we'll never have a problem. Tell your boyfriend it's the obviousness of it that bothers you, and tell him that if he can't figure out how to be subtle, then he needs to learn to resist the urge when you are around.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:21 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Eyes are controled by the mind.

    Answer by missamerica1 at 7:26 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I agree 100% with tropicalmama. :)

    Answer by vnw1405 at 7:27 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • i was married 12 years and my husband would look and so would i. we would say you can look not just touch cause that is being human we knew who each other wanted to go home with so that was the most important point.

    Answer by shadowia30 at 7:56 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I watched my hubby's eyes when I dated him. I had a great deal more respect for him because he always averted his eyes when we walked by places like Victoria Secret. I have NEVER seen him looking. You can't help it if someone good looking is in front of you, but you don't have to turn and watch them pass. If he had been someone who was always looking I would have not stayed with him. (I was very picky!)

    Answer by micheledo at 8:01 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Let it go. If he is starring at the women than thats wrong, but if it is a quick glance don't sweat it. Maybe its just me but that doesn't bother me at all. My husband thinks i am hot and sexy and he makes love to ME at the end of the day so i don't sweat it. The eyes don't have curtains.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:38 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • your boyfriend isnt the only one with wondering eyes there are lots of guys who do that I think if thats all hes doing then its ok. I bet you look at other guys too. and if your not aware of it pay more attention to yourself. Have him catch you checking a guy out see if it bothers him. then take it from there.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.

Next question in Relationships
tell or no?

Next question overall (Just for Fun)
How come...