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when you went from 1 baby to 2....

I just have one baby, she is 3 months old and my dh and I are so so so in love with her!!! We know we want more but part of me feels like I should want to give her all the attention I can first before having another...but then I think I want my kids close together so part of me doesn't want to wait too long.
Anyways just a couple of questions here - first, was the bond automatic w/ your 2nd baby? Is it the same intensity as with the first?
And second, do you recommend having kids close together??

Thanks all.


Asked by Anonymous at 8:15 AM on Jun. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I was scared that I couldn't love my second as much as my first. But you learn that there is more than enough love in your heart for both children.

    Mine are 24 months and 4 days apart. I was scared about having them that close together, but it worked out perfectly. I had to do most of the diaper changing and everything by myself since my husband deployed for 15 months when our youngest was 4 months old.

    My brother is 11 years younger than me and before he became a teenager, we were very close. I think you can be close to your siblings, no matter what the age difference.

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 9:43 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • i have a 7yo and a 1 yo, and now im expecting again.....i would say to have two in diapers might be a bit of a challenge. my 7yo was great and lil one now ..well..hes demanding more attention, climbing on me,wanting to be held more. I just think it would be a bit harder thats all. THe bond with my second child after 7 yrs. was awsome. Its been a real pleasure.

    Answer by guitarmom101 at 8:29 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • the bond was different with both of my kids. different circumstances = different feelings. but i love my youngest just as much as i love my oldest. sometimes i like one more than the other though!
    and yes, i doubted that i could love my second as much... but i do!

    Answer by gabenmikeysmom at 8:29 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Yes the bond is there. Just as automatic and intense. My boys are 13 months apart and I absolutely love it. But I will admit, my oldest is very easy going and laid back. If he had a different personality it might not have been as easy. I am now pregnant with #3. My youngest son will be 20 months when the baby comes. I am more nervous about this one since my youngest at the moment is much more clingy and a mamma's boy. So even though he is going to be older than my first was when he came I think it is going to be harder. Having two in diapers wasn't too bad, but my DH was very good about helping with diapers. I am very glad my kids are close together. My brothers were 5 and 8 yrs older. I was always by myself. I am so glad that my kids have playmates and will have things in common. My brothers and I weren't really friends until we were all married and had things to talk about.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Mine are 10, 6, and 4

    Those age gaps have worked out well for me.

    Answer by VeronicaLee at 10:08 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • My kids are 3 years apart. I like it b/c I didn't have 2 in diapers at the same time. I didn't want them too close together or too far apart. 3 years is perfect for us. They play well together, but they also have their own friends.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:08 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • my kids are a year and a half son is 7 and my girl is 5 1/2 ,It was kinda hard having them so close,by the time I had her I was about done with the baby stage.With lots of help from friends and family .I got a break every weekend .
    Now that their big kids it is a joy to watch them play together { brother / sister <3 love }
    don't get me wrong its not always :) but most of the time they are. Raising kids you gotta have alot of patience
    when I was young my sister was 10 yrs older,If she played with me i had to eat all my food or do something for her. I didn't want that for my kids.

    Answer by meNmine at 11:28 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • My oldest was 6 months old when I got pregnant with my 2nd. They are 15 months apart and, honestly, I never bonded with my oldest. My 2nd was an instant bond. Then when he was 4 months old I got pregnant with my 3rd. They are 13 months apart and I bonded with her instantly, too. I had 3 in diapers and it really wasn't that bad. You learn to manage. There are days I actually wish I could go back to the toddler years. They are almost 9 (in 3 weeks), 7 1/2 (8 in Oct.) and 6 1/2 (7 in Nov) and they drive me nuts. The older they get the more they fight. Plus my 9yo has behavior problems that drive me insane.
    I also have a 3yo. I much prefer having them close together. My 3yo is home by herself a lot because the other kids are in school or outside playing. She's bored and lonely and more needy then the other kids because she is by herself.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 11:30 AM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • My son is 6 and were having our second in September. For US waiting was ideal...I am SO into my pregnancy and the new baby..I think that my son being 6 and so happy and understanding makes it a lot easier. For me, I didn't want my kids back to back. I think you have to do what's best for you and your situation. Each has pros and cons...

    Answer by NJMom2Tyler at 7:20 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • my daughters are 18 months apart at first it was hard b/c my 1 st was still a baby/ but know they are 2 and 10 months and its so fun they play well with eachother the bonds were very different but i love them both the same

    Answer by klinemom2 at 8:40 PM on Jun. 6, 2009