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Army Relationships?

How hard is it to be in a relationship with someone in the army? Getting moved around all the time and deployed?

My best friend is in the army and deployed right now, but when he comes home he wants us to try our chances at a relationship. To be honest, I'd be all for it, except I'm worried about the strain on the relationship when he'd be deployed etc. But on the other hand, I've been a single mom for almost 2 years now, it's not like i can't handle being on my own.

I see lot's of army wives on here, so I'm hoping some of you can tell me the honest truth about the good and bad of an army relationship.

 
Pudge_Pie20

Asked by Pudge_Pie20 at 12:40 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 11 (623 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (12)
  • I've been an Army wife for 5 years and an Army girlfriend for 3 years before that. We've been through three deployments, two 12 monthers and one 15 monther. They are very tough, but you can get through them.

    My favorite quote is: "Absence is to love as wind is to fire; It extinguishes the small and kindles the great" by Roger de Bussy-Rabutin.

    I've found this to be very true. In the last 8 years, I've seen so many marriages and relationships fall apart. But if you have a strong foundation, with trust, communication and compromise, your relationship will make it through anything.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:42 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • When my hubby and I started dating, he was in DEP and leaving for bootcamp in 9 months. I was a little reluctant to start anything, but we decided to give it a shot. We've been together for three year, married for one and he's adopting my daughter. I can't imagine my life without him. Sure, deployments suck and living 2500 miles from family and friends isn't fun, but you get to travel, make new friends, and most importantly you get to be with the guy you love. Not to sound corny, but I'd rather be with him half the year than no time at all. My hubby is Navy, BTW.
    toriandgrace

    Answer by toriandgrace at 12:51 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • When I met my hubby I was 17. Then shortly after he went to Korea (1998-1999). We dated the whole time. It wasn't hard for me, because I fell in love with him and wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and didn't know what was going to happen between us. Yes, it is a strain on the relationship, but I wanted to try everything to make sure it would work out for us. We've been married for 10 years now; with two beautiful daughters. I really hope everything works out for the both of you!! Good luck with everything!!!


    Now, the good and the bad: It's hard being away from them, and you do spend a lot of time away from them. The good (for me): the pride I feel in my hubby for everything he does for our country and everything he has accomplished in his career.

    Aviators_Wife

    Answer by Aviators_Wife at 12:53 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I'm a navy wife, but we are separated a lot as well. In fact, he's deployed right now. Honestly, it all depends on how much you love the person and how bad you want it to work. My husband and I have been together for 5 years, we've been through 2 deployments, and countless separations, but you make it work. When you love someone, and you know you cant imagine your life without them, you make it. We have be able to grow closer through each separation, and our marriage is strong now because of it.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 12:55 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I loved being an army wife. I miss it actually. Unfortunately my ex just wasn't good to me or my son and we divorced. I did, however, get to see Germany and it was soooooo beautiful. The traveling, the meeting other army wives and just experiencing a whole different way of life was so refreshing! It's great for your son too, having to see the world and learn about other cultures. It's something alot of people never get the chance to experience.

    On the downside, they would go out in the field for two or three weeks, I'd miss him but it was nice to have that big old bed to myself.LOL He went to desert storm and I worried about his safety. That, I think, is probably the number one reason most women can't marry military because of the worry. But with any job you take a risk, especially working with the public so you have to try NOT to worry(hard as that may be).

    I think you should give it a try. :) Good luck!
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:00 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • my husband is navy. we've been married 7 years and done 5 or 6 deployments i've honestly lost count. its hard but its worth it. i really think that the deployments make our relationship stronger, we both have to make it on our own for 6 months at a time and realize how much we appreciate each other. the moving part isn't that bad, you get used to it after awhile and it makes you more outgoing and a person who is willing to try new things. you get to meet all kinds of different people. see different places, and yes it sucks being away from family, but thats what vacations are for, you can always go visit. we take turns we go see his family for one holiday mine for the other (they are in diff states) and it works out for us. my dad was navy as well and i really don't know what i'll do when we venture out into the civilian world, i'm so used to the military being practically in charge of my life it'll be weird when they aren't.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 1:19 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • If I had the opportunity I'd do it. My dd is making the plans to do it. She's ok with living alone with the kids while he is deployed but by the time they get married he'll be done with all of his deployment stuff.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:44 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Also, deployments have honestly made our marriage stronger. We've had to deal with and go through things that most people don't think about. But we appreciate the time we do get to spend together, there's no taking things for granted around here. And we become emotionally close during deployments. I know that sounds weird, because we're not physically together, but it's true.

    You have to be a strong, independent woman to be an Army SO You can't need your spouse around all the time, not even for important events (births of children, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, graduations, etc.). You have to realize that the Army always comes first. If they say go he has to go.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:47 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • girl trust me this is the best thing you can ever do and once my best friend comes back from germany we are going to try again at having a relationship even though I am almost 7 months pregnant by someone else he is so ready to be in mine and my daughters life and I am ready to take on the role of army girlfriend and then army wife..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:27 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • there is strong,
    then there is Army Strong
    then there is the strong you have to be to be an Army Girlfriend/ wife
    SweetPea102689

    Answer by SweetPea102689 at 5:29 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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