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How can I get the strength to leave and move on with my life or is saving this relationship worth it?

I want to be with him but after all this time, nothing in our relationship is getting better and it seems like we are still at square one. He says he doesn't want to let me go even though he knows that he will never make me happy.

The problem is, I am happy with him but only when he is with me. He is hardly around and when he isn't, I don't hear from him. I wouldn't mind if he needed some time to himself but it don't usually last one day.

I have asked him several times if this relationship is what he wants and if he is serious about it and he says yes but yet his actions speak louder then his words and it doesn't seem that way to me.

We have been on and off for a couple of years now and we still don't live with eachother, see eachother often or have a close relationship...he won't even come with me to my family functions or anything unless it's something he likes to do.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • If I were you..I'd stop wasting my time and move on to someone who deserves me.
    twotwinsmom

    Answer by twotwinsmom at 1:00 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I truly believe that you have one life and only one life and why waste it on someone that doesn't give 100%. You deserve so much more. If you feel you did everything you could on your end to make it work then leave and find someone who will love spending time with you. Don't waste this precious life unhappy. Someone perfect is waiting for you!
    mommymine3

    Answer by mommymine3 at 1:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Are you dating my boyfriend? We both need to break up with him!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Run.

    Fast.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Sounds like he is keeping you in his back pocket.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • It really doesn't sound like this is the guy for you. Maybe it will help you to get him go to just simply remind yourself as often as need be that you want more than he is willing to give. It doesn't mean that he is a bad person. It just means that he is not the right person for you. Don't worry about not having a man in your life right now. There are a lot worse things, like being married to the wrong man. So use this time to further define exactly what you are looking for in a man and then when you begin to meet other men, don't look twice at the ones who don't meet your qualifications. I think the number one consideration should be whether or not he is a man who wants to be married and have a family. If he's just looking for a honey, he would not be the right man. Determine to move very slowly, and size the next one up more fully before you become emotionally attached. It makes it much easier to move on.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:32 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I agree with anon :17 he is keeping you in his back pocket and there may be a chance that you are not his only one. One thing you have to examine is how important your happiness is to you. The strength to move on comes from having a love for yourself (more than him) and realizing you want and deserve more/better.
    nateandlo

    Answer by nateandlo at 1:42 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • You don't need strength to leave a dead end relationship, just determination to find happiness in this lifetime. Life is too short to settle. Go see what else life offers. If he fixes things then so be it. If someone else comes along, so be it. Don't just sit there waiting for things to change. YOU make the change. You can always go back to the dead end life with him if you don't like what else is out there
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:42 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I guarenteee he is cheating. I know this because of personal experience.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:01 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • "HE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU"! i've learned over the years that men are really simple, they know what they want and from whom, if he wants you, you'll know. if you are the one for him you'll know, if he want's to be in a serious commited relationship with you you'll know, HOW? HE'LLPROFESS- his love to you and everyone will know (EVERYONE) in other words he will give you a title, his wife his woman, he will also provide for you, STAY IN THE SAME HOME AS YOU, TAKE CARE OF THE BILLS ECT.. he will protect you, by any means, protect your heart as well, IF HE WANTS YOU NOTHING, I MEAN NOTHING WILL KEEP HIM FROM YOU! If he was really into you, he would not go days without seeing you. Often times men keep women around because they like the SEX BUT THAT'S ALL, if i was you i would consider moving on. SOUNDS LIKE HE MAY HAVE HIM ANOTHER WOMAN??? HE CERATANILY DON'T MIND STAYING AWAY FROM YOU! DON'T WASTE TIME-MOVE ON.
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 3:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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