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What can I do to make him want to spend more time with us and love us like we deserve?

It's just me and my son waiting around for him...I try to be with my SO but he is always finding reasons why he can't be with us or I don't hear from him at all. He tells me all the sweet "I love you", "I want to be with you sweetie", "I'm trying"...blah, blah, blah.

I love him and don't want to let him go. I have tried time and time again to be understanding and try to make hime happy...but maybe I'm missing something?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:03 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Try ignoring him for a change. If he loves you and your kid, he'll be the one trying to see you guys. If he doesn't try, he's not worth it.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:07 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • You shouldn't have to do anything. If he loves you, he would want to spend time with you and your child.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • What kinds of reasons? Are they legitimate?

    If he truly wants to spend time with you and your son, he will FIND a way and the time to do so. Even if it's not long.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 2:50 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Where is he?
    MommyKKay

    Answer by MommyKKay at 2:55 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • What is the hang up? Is he working long hours? Is he married to someone else? A person that loves you wants to spend time with you and a child. You can't MAKE a person care. In fact the opposite is true. The more you put on the pressure the more he may be absent. grannywilson
    grannywilson

    Answer by grannywilson at 3:18 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I JUST ANSWERD THIS QUESTION FROM ANOTHER POST- FIRST IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU! IF THAT MAN WANTS TO BE WITH YOU NO MATTER WHAT HE WOULD, YOU WOULD NOT HAVE TO ASK, PLEAD NOR-BEG. PERHAPSHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU! REGARDLESS WHAT HE SAY'S YOU KNOW DIFFERENT, YOU COULD HANG THE MOON IF HE WANTS YOU HE WILL NOT ONLY PROFESS HIS LOVE FOR YOU HE WILL PROVE HIS LOVE TO YOU --BY BEING THERE FOR YOU NOT MAKING EXCUSES AS TO WHY HE CAN'T COME SEE YOU, HE WOULD PUT YOR FEELINGS ABOVE HIS BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU AND WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, IF HE WANTED TO AND THERE ISN'T ONE THING YOU CAN DO TO MAKE HIM CHANGE THAT IS SOMETHING HE HAS TO WANT AND IT SOUNDS LIKE TO ME HE'S NOT THAT INTO YOU, FORGET ABOUT WHAT HE SAYS BUT WHAT HE DO-LEAVE YOUY AND YOUR SON HANGING AND WAITING FOR HIM, MAKING EXCUSES, LEAVING YOU SAD AND LONLEY WHILE HE'S OUT DOING GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT AND YOU MAY NOT WANT TO HEAR IT BUT MAYBE IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON?
    mememommie

    Answer by mememommie at 3:24 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • He just doesn't come around if he doesn't feel like it. We work the same amount of time (10 hours) except he gets off an hour before I do. He doesn't do much when he is home except drink, watch TV, play video games, write and read...there could be other things he does but I don't know about them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:24 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • if you have to convince him to be with you then you shouldn't be with him! if he truelly loves you he would find a way to be with you no matter what. and yea you might feel like you love him and cant live without him but you have to worry about you! he isn't tryin to make you happy so you need to make you happy and find someone better who will love you and cant stand to be without you. or if you absolutely dont wanna leave him then maybe you can do what i did...keep in mind it doesnt work for everyone you have to really know your man to know if this will work. but with my man one time i said ok if you really wanted to be with me that bad you would be here and your not and im jus tired of it i love you and miss you but i wont do this to myself or my child and after a diff. arguement i kicked him out of the house and he came back and told me and showed me how much he loves me and now later down the road,we're talkin marriage
    kuuipo317

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 3:28 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • it took him almost losing me to realize he cant live without me...we were goin through hard times but it worked! things totally changed and we've been doin so great and like i said now we're always talkin bout bein hubby and wife. he wasnt that bad though...thats another factor....he wasnt like that all the time jus that one time when we we're having our differences....
    kuuipo317

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 3:29 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Sorry to say this, but, like KUUIPO said if you have to convince him of things,then, you shouldn't be with him. Why would you want someone like that in your life, anyway. Don't you feel kinda let down and degraded to waiting for him when you could be doing something better with your life. Stop waiting and wondering and calling and doing everything in this relationship by yourself. NO man is worth that not even for a child. Start doing things without him, stop calling him. I hate to say this, but, he is taking you for granted. Its up to you to stop him and then he may see what he is missing. He knows you are there, he knows you care and haven't done anything to stop what he is doing.This ones on you, not him.
    Kat122

    Answer by Kat122 at 3:50 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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