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What do you do when you feel the lowest when you're with your husband?

I know this is awful but it's how I feel so please don't comment if you're gonna tell me I'm a bad person.

I married my husband after I found out I was pregnant. We did it because I'm 18 and had no insurance and I wanted a better life for the babies.

Now only 5 months later I'm still pregnant and feel even more helpless than ever. I no longer have a job, so he takes care of me primarily. I feel like I have to stay because I'm uncapable of financially caring for two baies however at the same time I feel like I can't stay because he brings me down so low that I don't know that I could honestly continue living. Pretty much the only reason I haven't done anything to hurt myself is because I'm pregnant and love these babies.

Any words to help figure out what to do or up my spirits are GREATLY appreciated.

Answer Question
 
goldfish09

Asked by goldfish09 at 2:40 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 15 (2,122 Credits)
Answers (16)
  • GET OUT NOW! If you don't you will just be unhappy and then later in life when you are sick of it you will finally leave and then it will be harder for those babies! as i tell you this I'm in the same situation kinda of. I have dreams every night of leaving... but in reality I have nowhere to go. I know I love him but sometimes I feel like i secretly hate him.. isn't that awful of me! It's hard.. i dont think i lifted your spirits.. but i dont think any one will be able to.. if you ever need to talk though I will be here..
    tmarshall509

    Answer by tmarshall509 at 2:49 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Divorce is always an option.Don't take the option off the table.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:50 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Don't you have anyone else who could help you, your mom or another family member? Sounds like you need to get away from him all together, and if you think it is bad now, waut until you have those babies. Your having twins I'm guessing, it doesn't sound like he'll be much help to you.
    Rachel24517

    Answer by Rachel24517 at 2:51 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • You need to talk to a family member or friend about this. You're too young to deal with it on your own, you need advice from people that you know! And don't feel like you have to stay with him because you are pregnant. You deserve someone that loves you and cares for you. If it is bad now it will only get worse.
    MommyKKay

    Answer by MommyKKay at 2:54 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • honey dont stay with a man jus cuz he can maybe take care of you financially! your happiness and you life is more important then any man! and hun dont worry about financial theres so many things women can do to get financial help. especially single mothers! honestly u jus have to put the effort in to find places that can help you! and dont ever let a man bring you down that low..dont even wory about that jerk cuz you have something so precious. you have babies that will love you and need you for the rest of your life and theres no better love then that. and take time for yourself but later in life the right man will come along! every female deserves a man that will love them and take care of them mentally physically and financially! you can do better..i wish you the best of luck and i will be praying for you
    kuuipo317

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 3:15 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Get help, dont mean that in a bad way but thats what friends and family are for..if your like me,,and dont have that option....try to find a way to make some side money and save to move...hunni bunch you may not want to lean on your state or the gov for aid and assistance but situations like these are what its there for...get assistance and get out..do you realize your thinking about hurting yourself over the way A MAN MAKES YOU FEEL!!! your better than that! RUN NOW!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 3:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I agree with sweetskissesz22. Seriously, you can just use the state aid until you get yourself together to care for your babies. Staying in a marriage or relationship that is emotional or otherwise abusive isn't good for you or your babies. Don't let some a** make you feel that bad ab out yourself that you think you can't take care of you or your babies because you can.
    officerjoeys

    Answer by officerjoeys at 4:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • you can get a place of your own on Section 8 govt housing vouchers. You can get assistance for insurance and they will have him pay child support so you don't have to be stuck with him. You can be independent. They can help you get day care if you want to go to college and/or get a job later. Take this time to find your options. Don't settle. Make plans for your future to become the person you want to be. You don't have to be an extension of him and be miserable. You can do this.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:09 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Could things just seem this bad to you because you are pregnant?Being pregnant changes the way you feel about things, how you percieve things, how you feel, makes you feel low, makes you feel high, makes you happy, makes you sad.I'm only asking that question because a lot of times pregnancy will make couples grow apart,not all of them, but some.I don't think that divorce is the answer with the first of problems. I think people should try. Men don't understand what its like to be pregnant, so they act stupid sometimes and say stupid crap. If you 2 seriously can't make it, at least you gave it a try.How does he bring you down to a low point in your life? Is he emotionally, mentally or physically abusive towards you in any way? And if he is, how? I could answer better if you gave alittle bit more detail
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Sweetie, are you sure that it's him and not you? What I mean is, what makes you blame this on him? You sound like you could be depressed. It happens to many pregnant women. You could get help for this if you talked to your OB. There are medications you can be put on and therapy you could try.

    Also don't count out marriage counseling. Don't give up on your marriage right away. There is help out there for you.

    Please talk to your OB about your state of mind and see if you can get referred to someone who can help you. And don't feel bad about it, MANY pregnant women are depressed.
    Cavalrybaby02

    Answer by Cavalrybaby02 at 5:46 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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