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Stupid question, I know. What is great sex like?

My husband is the only man I have been with sexually. We have good sex and I enjoy it, but I don' think it has ever been great. He usually doesn't care much to have sex with me. If I don't initiate we would only have sex once a month (I have experimented with this so I know). So from beginning to end sex is about him. He rarely takes the time to turn me on or satisfy me. Things were good for about 8 months after we first got married, but at that time I was too sexually immature to know how to orgasm. We had been married about 2 years before I even had one, even then I can only get off from masturbation. I have tried to teach him how to give me an orgasm, but he just isn't interested. It took a lot of courage for me to masturbate in front of him and he didn't care to get involved, even when I tried to, he just turned over and fell asleep. I am starting to fear I will never have the great sex that I always hear about.

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:47 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • Yeah usually if you tell the guy that ur not satisfied, but sit down before bed and talk about it, bring up this and guaranee that he'll work on pleasing you cuz its a macho thing. If he realises that its not as great as he may think I think that he'll wanna be better.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 7:50 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • He definitely knows I am not satisfied. He just told me to buy a vibrator. I wasn't harsh or mean about it, I just told him I needed satisfaction too.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Hmm...I dunno...Wow
    Some women on here talk about thats the only way they can get satisfaction
    start another post saying kind of what you just said. Im sure more women will respond with similar situations.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 8:01 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Wow, it sounds like he just really doesn't care about you and your needs at all. How does he treat you outside of sex? Does he have a similar attitude about everything else? If he acts like this about other stuff, not just sex, then it would seem he's just a selfish jerk. If it's only in the bedroom, then I would think maybe he doesn't know what he is doing really, and his ego won't let him admit that or take any direction. If that's the case, it may be very difficult to get him to change, but you might be able to if you just figure out the right way to approach it: talking, physically guiding, something.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 8:01 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Maybe try a sex counselor. He has to learn to be more open, maybe the sex isnt good for him either. I went threw something like this, only I was the one who could care less about sex and he was the one always trying. We didnt do counseling but we really talked about the problem and became more open to new things like toys and videos and stuff. Now I am really into sex, and it is really good for both of us. I know my guy says it is better for him to see me getting pleasure, he may not be enjoying himself either.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:02 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • OMG so he knows your not satisfied and doesnt try to fix the problem. hunni i went from a man that couldnt please me and learned what great sex was like with my SO...i now have his child and plan on marrying him lol not just because of the sex but lemme tell you it HELPS!!! your missing out..not saying a relationship should be based on sex by anymeans but thats not fair...anon :02 was right sex counseling or maybe you need to weigh your options..is he this selfish in other aspects of your life?! if so...maybe hes not who you need to be spending the rest of your life with!
    sweetstkissez22

    Answer by sweetstkissez22 at 8:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Go get some strange (something you never had before).
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • he's gay.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I went through 3 husbands, a goat roping and a rodeo before I had an orgasm. Finding a man who cares enough to do it is a challenge. I'm single so I can do what I want with whomever I want and i still prefer my Jackrabbit vibrator. It gives me clit stimulation and then a g spot orgasm which is amazing. It never complains or rolls over in frustration leaving me high and dry. I just learned a long time ago to take care of my own needs. If some man comes along and can fulfill my needs then great, until then I'm not waiting for that day to come. I'm all for taking matters into my own hands and everything else is a bonus. When you are done taking the vibrating dildo and push it toward his naked ass and I bet you get his attention! LOL (put a condom on it if you probe at his behind though!)
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:54 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • that is very odd && selfish of him. My SO doesn't even enjoy sex unless I get off. If he does happen to go before me, he gets very upset. If you want to stay with him, then you definitely need to find some way to make him understand just how important this issue is. Your sex life is a very big part of your relationship && just like any other part, if one of you isn't happy then the relationship is doomed, because you WILL get tired of his selfishness eventually.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 9:38 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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