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Why do i feel this way?

Hi, I been knowing my husband for 4yrs and we have a 3yr old son together ,but we haven't been married a year yet and he's a Navy Sailor and stationed in San Diego. Anyway he accuses me of pushing him to this female that I found out he had sexual relations with because he was in San Diego and I was in Columbia Sc he would tell me i would be coming to San Diego and it never happen when he said it would because of his command so I would tell him maybe we should stop seeing each other and that maybe he should get a Navy girl but he was determined to me and our son here to San diego and I finally got there but I'm still trying to figure out If I really push him into cheating on me with this Navy girl by saying things I really don't mean? Any Suggestions or Advice.

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Jenni_22

Asked by Jenni_22 at 8:32 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • In the book Why Men Cheat, men said they cheated bc of how the wife made them feel so there may be some truth to what he said. It's over. Let it go. Try from here on out to make things work but he has to tell you when you push him away so you can stop doing it. We all learn from our experiences. You can make this work.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:37 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Once a cheater always a cheater no one makes anyone do anything. If your man can't keep his shit in he's pants then it will happen again no matter what you say or do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:43 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I think that is just his way of passing the blame. Me, personally, I couldn't be with someone if they cheated on me, but if you do want to try to make this work then you need to tell him that he needs to learn to accept responsibility for his own actions. Because I very seriously doubt that you went to where he was, pulled his d*ck out of his pants && put it in another woman && that would be the only way YOU could be held responsible for HIS actions. I can understand maybe you did make him feel a certain way, but tell me how having sex with another woman made it any better. If he truly wanted to make things work with you, then he should have been on the phone with you trying to work it out instead of in her bed.
    HisMommySince07

    Answer by HisMommySince07 at 9:23 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Hmmm did you put a gun to his head and demand he mess around with this other person? NO- well then how is it your fault he cheated? It sounds like he is trying to turn it around and make himself to be the innocent victim and pass the blame to you for what he did. Personally I would tell him to be a man step up and take responsibility for his actions. I hope things work out for you-- good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:04 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • If hes cheating, he obivously doesnt love you . You can do better than a cheater.
    BooHooMommy

    Answer by BooHooMommy at 10:08 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • i agree id leave him! seriously besides that when i found out my ex was cheating i was so grossed out...that nasty ass..his mistress had her baby a week after mine...that is so freakin nasty cuz think of it he'd put his shit in the both of us thats freakin gross! trust me you dont want that feeling...you dont wanna wonder if he's stickin his shit in some female and then turnin around and puttin it in you..thats nasty as hell! and like the girl said once a cheater always a cheater...get this...this dumbass not only did he cheat on me but months later he called me to hook back up with me...so he was cheating on that female..then they broke up and i found out he was with some other girl im like omg he needs to be fixed for real! but you know what i never went back to him..when i found out it was over and that was it cuz i believed i could do better and you should believe in that for yourself too cuz you can.
    kuuipo317

    Answer by kuuipo317 at 11:18 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • it was not your fault. Like everyone else said. He's a cheater. He did it. You didn't push it on him. He's trying to relieve his conscience by blaming you. If he loved you and he wanted to make it work with you then he should have kept his penis in his pants. Period.
    SandraRh

    Answer by SandraRh at 11:57 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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