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I don't want my ds playing with the neighbors bratty kids. Anyway of putting that nicely?

My ds is 21 months old. My neighbors grandkids are 2 1/2 and 4 1/2. Everytime I see them they have real snotty noses and look like they've been rolling around in dirt. They don't come from the best situation, as a matter of fact they live in a rehab with their mother. They are the brattiest kids you ever met b/c my neighbor (the grandmother) never punishes them. They always want to play with my ds but I don't want him picking up on bratty things that i'm trying to teach him not to do. They play rough and grab him and pull on him and throw things at him and my neighbors don't say anything to them. They always just walk right over to our porch and want to come in our place. Anything I can tell the grandparents to make them stop coming over in a nice way. We are nice to each other and I just dont want to jeapordize that!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:05 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (9)
  • You can just say that you think your baby is too young right now to play with them.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 9:06 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Thats a hard one. I have the same problem with my kids and a neighbor, but they are a bit older, 5 and 7 and the neighbor is 11. His dad is raising him alone and not doing a great job with it, but he does his best and we are good neighbors with the dad, but the boy drives me buts, picks on my kids, rude, thinks he owns the place. We had to get very strict with him, the first time he does something I dont like, I tell him to go home, and I follow through immediately. But my kids are older like I said so they want to play with him too, it may be different since your son is still to young to say hey I want to play with them. Just tell the grandma hey he just pushed my son he needs to come home now, sorry we may try again later but I cant have my son hurt. It may teach the boys a lesson in manners if they know you wont put up with it. My opinion, if they are at your house you get to discipline them if they are bullying your son
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:17 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Children learn to behave from their parents. In other words, it's not the kids' fault that their parents don't teach them better. You can keep your child from them, but in the real world, children come in all sizes and shapes. He can learn to deal with these difficult kids NOW, with you as a guiding force, or he can deal with them in elementary school, where he won't have mom or dad to protect him.

    If your son likes to play with them, go ahead and let him. But stay very close. If they push him or something, you can calmly tell the boys that if they want to play with your son, then they can't push around. Same with throwing things at him. If their noses are dirty, bring out a pack of baby wipes and offer them to the boys to clean themselves up.

    What I'm trying to say is, as much as we parents want to shelter our kids, we can't shelter them 24/7. BUT, we can equip them with the social skills they will need.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • Put your son in a bubble .
    Its not those kids fault their being raised that way. You should look at this in a positive way. Since your just "O so much better" how about you put a positve inflence on these children.
    BooHooMommy

    Answer by BooHooMommy at 10:01 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • You are very right on the mark with your feelings of wanting to protect your child. Its not like he's old enough to protect himself yet. Matter of fact, the mother lion protects her babies far more than any human, until they are old enough to hunt and defend themself from predators. Sadly, too many moms believe that throwing a defenseless child to play with very aggressive children, is the way to teach a child how to defend themself. Nope. It doesn't work that way.

    When the children come to the door to ask to play, simply say as kindly and gently as possible "Oh, I'm so sorry. Little Bobby isn't able to play right now." Give no reason that can be judged by the grandmother and she'll soon realize that you don't want her little guys to play. Many times, people don't realize that they are subjecting their ill-bred children (no matter who's to blame or not to blame) on the general public.
    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 10:11 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • and unless your neighbor gives you the right to correct and train her grandchildren, its cannot be your responsibility. She's not giving you that position in their life to do so.

    Yes, I feel very sorry for these kids. No one loves them enough to take the time and trouble to wash their face and comb their hair (to teach them self respect), nor to teach them NOT to be unkind to babies and those smaller and weaker than themselves. Humans often believe their own children are too ignorant to learn these skills. How sad, b/c when they attend school no one will love them like the child who is cared for lovingly by a mother or grandparent who bathes them, and teaches them how to behave.
    lifeasinoit

    Answer by lifeasinoit at 10:14 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • thanks for all the answers ladies! your right i should put my foot down. to boohoomommy, i'm not saying i'm "o so much better", i've put up with more than i should simply because i am friends with the neighbors and feel sorry for those kids. but my ds has aspergers (autism spectrum disorder) and isnt as quick and fast on certain things as they are. i cant tell the kids b/c they wont understand. i just dont want my son picked on and picking up on bratty things, i want my kid to grow up not to be a brat, if that makes me "so much better" well then i'd rather be looked in at that light then being the mom who doesn't care what her kid does or turn out to be!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:25 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • I agree with boohoomommy and the anon that posted. Don't use the aspergers as a reason as to why you don't want them around. My oldest has (he's 18 know and bi-polar) a very strong learning disability, which presents like aspergers or autism. I never sheltered him from situations like what you are in, it became a learning expierience for both of us and the kids that were less then perfect. I don't think you are being a snob though, I just think you are a mom who loves her little one and wants to protect him...nothing wrong there!

    You are in the perfect position to possibly make an impact in two other childrens lives, two children who don't have the benefit of a family that really knows how to care for them. They are (the kids) more then capable of understanding your son's situation, they may not grasp the whole concept but they are capable of learning through your example.....cont
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:40 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

  • ....If they are in your house or on your property you do have the right to correct them, not punish but correct and redirect. If grandma doesn't like it then problem solved and you won't have to deal with it anymore, but at least you tried.

    Don't give up so soon, sometimes it only takes one person to change the life another.


    Good luck no matter what you choose to do!
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:43 PM on Jun. 6, 2009

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