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My 17 year old sister and her 20 year old fiance are now living with us.....

I'm not sure how to handle her. I want to be her friend/sister and be a confidant and stuff. But she also needs rules. She is still young and stuff and needs guidance.

I'm not 100% on how to help her to grow up to be a responisble adult and how to be her friend too. Or if I can be both? She's not my child, so its not clear cut.

I want to help her but not enable her. I want to be her friend but she has to obey the house rules. I am terrified she's gonna come home pregante and I'm not sure what to do. She on BC and they use condoms but accidents happen all the time.

Ugh I'm not sure. I want to help her but not sure how to. Any advice?

 
lstrickland

Asked by lstrickland at 11:59 PM on Jun. 6, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 19 (7,042 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • Well as far as rules go she will have to understand that even adults living on their own have to adhere to certain rules. When you rent a home the landlord has rules that you have to follow. Try to get her to see it that way. Also, this is your home for your family and if she puts stress on you and/or them then that is disrespectful and out of line. Growing up is hard and can suck but we all have to do it. If she is old enough to have a fiance then she should be old enough to understand that being an adult mean being responsible. Teach her by example, most youngins' hear what we do more than what we say.You can be her friend but being a friend doesn't mean she gets to be irresponsible. Just be very clear on what you will accept and expect from her from the beginning.

    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 12:10 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • sit down and talk to her, tell her what the rules are in your home and ask that she and her fiance follow them. however shes pretty much an adult already, she is almost 18 and is engaged so i'm hoping shes mature enough to make good decisions. as far as her coming home pregnant, there is nothing you can do there, she is on BC and using condoms so she is being responsible already.
    vabchmommy

    Answer by vabchmommy at 12:01 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I know you want to protect her because she's your little sister but you need to treat her like an adult. Which means rent, utilities, food budget, courtesy when out late or up late and loud. But most of all lead by example. You can't run her life but you may be able to influence indirectly.
    Mommy2Bears

    Answer by Mommy2Bears at 12:02 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • You have children. bottom line. Tell her that you understand that she is almost an adult, but some adult things/conversations are not appropriate in front of kids.
    Tell her that she needs to be a good example for your children. That can cover anything from what time she comes home to the things she says at home.
    jenellemarie

    Answer by jenellemarie at 1:55 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • The fact is, you ARE enabling her by allowing her to live with you. You are an adult, and you live on your own. She is a child, and should be living with a parent, not playing house with an adult man-child. There is no way I would ever support a relationship like that, no matter how much they 'love' each other. A real man would never date a child, and a real man would provide for his woman, not mooch off of her family.
    squish

    Answer by squish at 4:25 AM on Jun. 7, 2009