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Not sure how to title this one

I have a 3 month old and I'm exclusively breastfeeding. Tonight we had people over for a bbq so I have been drinking, which is okay b/c I had enough milk stored to 'pump and dump' and I'll feed her w/ what we had stored. But I feel bad now, like a bad mother for even drinking. It's weird, I almost am mourning my old self that could drink and smoke (I hate to admit that too but I'm really craving a cigarette now). Don't get me wrong I love my baby more than anything...but this is a strange feeling.

Will it always feel this way? I feel like I can't enjoy myself anymore.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:11 AM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

This question is closed.
Answers (5)
  • You shouldn't feel bad. You took the necessary steps to assure you didn't pass the booze to your daughter.

    I know that feeling of feeling like you've lost yourself forever. But remember, your baby is only 3 months old, so it WILL be a while before you get to be YOU again. BUT, not only will baby get older and you can more easily have a moms night out, but she WILL go to school one day, and then you'll have every day to be yourself!

    I think part of parenting IS setting aside yourself until your baby can take care of herself more, or someone else can help.

    Don't worry, all your feelings are completely normal.

    Answer by Arkaidy at 12:33 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Don't feel bad about the drink. You planned properly to pump and dump. Good Momma! Now the cigarettes is a different story. It's of course your choice but I'm an x-smoker who quit solely because of my girls. There are several studies showing a correlation with daughters smoking if their Mother's smoked. 80%. That's why I've quit for good. Now if I go out with the girls and drink I do sometimes have one but I don't pick them back up the next day.

    Answer by Mommy2Bears at 12:18 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • You can breastfeed having had 1-2 drinks without worry... you don't need to pump and dumb unless you have had enough that you couldn't drive. So have a drink or two when you would like... it's fine.
    As for smoking.. you've done what is best for her and for yourself... keep up the good work!

    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:00 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Pumping and dumping is unnecessary. Alcohol metabolizes out of your milk supply just like it metabolizes out of your blood. The only reason to pump is if you're not going to feed your baby but you need to nurse not to be engorged or if you're worried about affecting your supply. Within 2-3 hours, the alcohol from one beer or wine is out of your breastmilk without pumping or dumping a single ounce. As others have said, experts agree that the amount of alcohol passed to your baby from one drink is so negligible that it is still safe to feed your baby after 1 drink. I feel more comfortable giving my daughter pumped milk after 2 drinks, though.

    It's completely normal to feel guilty -- not just about alcohol or wanting a smoke -- I still feel guilty sometimes (I have a 2 year-old and a 9 month-old) when I go shopping or go for a run while the girls are home with dad! It does get easier, but moms have guilt complexes! :)

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:37 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • if i have 1 or 2 i still feed her. any more than that i give her a bottle. but usually i only drink more than 2 if shes at grandmas for the night.

    Answer by BambiF at 11:05 AM on Jun. 7, 2009