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how would you handle this

a woman of 65 yrs of age is getting moved into a nursing home you jsut moved in to a new apartment getting married and having a kid . Your soon to be husband comes out and asks you what do you think should we have her move in with us i feel bad . I dont know what to think

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rainingglass101

Asked by rainingglass101 at 12:17 AM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

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Answers (10)
  • I would say that it would be a lot especially right now that your about to have a child...as long as she isn't getting mistreated at the nursing home
    SCrockett

    Answer by SCrockett at 1:10 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • who is this person is she your husband Mom either way i would say no for now. try explaining to your husband that right now is not a good time to add another adult to the mix . this is a time for you and him to enjoy the new baby with out having someone else underfoot all the time. just go see her as much as you are able to have her over for dinner stuff like that but don't feel quilty about it either
    sally251

    Answer by sally251 at 3:01 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I am about to have a baby soon and if my mawmaw or my husbands grandmother had to go to a nursing homw I would make them move in with us becasue I worked in a nursing home and it isn't somewhere for loved ones.... Most people who go there don't live long..
    ggiovanni

    Answer by ggiovanni at 10:46 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • It would depend on why she was moving in to the nursing home. Is she capable of doing things for herself or does she need 24/7 care? Does she require medical attention or just not able to live on her own anymore? Maybe she doesn't want to live with anyone. I'd rather be in a nursing home than live with my oldest dd or son. they are mean and would abuse and neglect me if I was not able to fend for myself. They are just like their abusive father (reason to get out of an abusive relationship while the kids are little ladies!) If she doesn't feel bad about it then you shouldn't. See how things are after the baby is here and you can have her come visit and gradually work toward staying with you if everyone is in agreement. I'd get a house though!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:23 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • Is this your Mother(I am assuming not, because you would probalby feel differently), or your soon to be Husband's Mom? If your husband's Mom is 65 yrs old and you are about to have a child, how old is your soon to be husband?? I am 50 yrs old and my Mom is 67 yrs old! Is your soon to be hubby 50, how old are you? If the woman going into the nursing home is your Mom, do you think she would have sent you off to a group home or orphanage just because she was getting married or expecting your brother or sister?
    If soon to be husband is asking you what do you think....sounds to me like he has already decided what he thinks...he wants her to move in with you and him. This is part of what happens when you marry someone older than you, they have aging parents and different priorities in life. You'd better weigh the serious longterm realities of this marriage.
    grovelady

    Answer by grovelady at 2:54 AM on Jun. 8, 2009

  • My grandmother 89, lives with my aunt 48 who was her last child and her 3 kids who are now 13, 18 and 23 and of course her husband/my uncle. She does not require medical attention, but just didn't want to live alone. My grandmother contributes to the family income and was a big help juggling kids when they were smaller. She has been living with them for about 10 years now. It works for them.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:57 AM on Jun. 9, 2009

  • I would give it an honest try you never know they might end up being more help than trouble! If things don't work out at least you can say you tried.
    MammaMcC

    Answer by MammaMcC at 7:03 PM on Jun. 12, 2009

  • Better to say NO now than to forever have to deal with the consequences.
    Waxing_Lyrical

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 4:41 AM on Jun. 21, 2009

  • i agree with waxinglyrical.... I mean, I'm sure the lady is great. I am not doubting her, but my fiance just got his friend a job with him. We are moving this week to our new house 6 hours away from home from this job and wanted his friend and his friends fiance who are my friends too to move in with us until he starts gettin paychecks.. I said no. I have 2 kids to deal with and I can't take them on too.. they are awesome people but i cant handle it. especially with the new baby your having. you are going to want your privacy. Just know when and if she moves in, you wont have any. You can go to the other room but its not the same. trust me
    LiSsY0924

    Answer by LiSsY0924 at 6:36 AM on Jun. 23, 2009

  • i agree try and if it dont work out then she can go to the nursing home...i would never put my Mommie in a nursing home
    mekarevell

    Answer by mekarevell at 12:33 AM on Oct. 18, 2010

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