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what would you do.... its long...

our wedding is coming up soon and his little brother (age 14) is showing some very strong signs that he dont want me in the family. hes also "running" everyones life by acting like "hes the boss and everyone else has to do what he says when he says it" and some what abusive. today he took off his dirty socks and thru it at my face on purpose and i couldnt take any more of it so i left crying this has happened before also the boys started fighting physically and then txted his brother aka my fiancé saying that he needs to choose "between me or her." well he chose me. i love him and his family very much but when he chose me idk something just didnt make me feel right. if you no what i mean... i dont have any kids and my sister went thru the same attitude when she was 12 but she grew out of it at age 13. i guess hes acted like this for a few years. what should i do, no bashing or anything its been a long and painfully day as is

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brunzysgirl

Asked by brunzysgirl at 12:18 AM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • It is sad that your fiance had to be put in that position but you have every right to be respected. It is not your fault his brother is acting like a fool. Are your soon to be in-laws doing anything about his behavior? My mom would have knocked my block off (not literally) if I ever acted like that.
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 12:23 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • why are you on cafemom if you have no children? It's JUST for moms.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:29 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • not really... his dad isnt in the picture same with my fiances dad. but their mom and her bf is but either 1 can do anything about him. i no they are the parents but hes pretty much a loss...all his friends are very bad roll models
    brunzysgirl

    Answer by brunzysgirl at 12:32 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • i had a miscarriage. and im trying to conceive again. is there a problem with that???
    brunzysgirl

    Answer by brunzysgirl at 12:34 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • That is pretty sad. It may be a lost cause but has your fiance ever talked to him about his behavior, you know try to steer him in the right direction? He's obviously looking to the wrong people for role models. I hate to say it (I know it could be a strain on you) but maybe your fiance should try to spend more time with him. The more he is away from his freinds the better. If he sees someone closer to his age acting civilized he may (hopefully anyway) try to emulate him instead of his punk freinds.
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 12:42 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Looks like you have a troll in your post. Try to ignore their ignorance. They just want attention like spoiled children.
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 12:44 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • hes tried to spend time but his brother just blows him off and only uses him for money and rides everywhere but today when his brother asked him for a ride he said no because they never spend time together and stuff and that made him even more upset.
    brunzysgirl

    Answer by brunzysgirl at 12:46 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • thanks.
    brunzysgirl

    Answer by brunzysgirl at 12:47 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Just ignore him he is just trying to get you mad that is it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:51 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I am glad your fiance told him no. Unfortunately there probably isn't much you can do for him (little brother). Don't feel bad about what happened this afternoon. I am sure you did not take the situation lightly or ever wanted to make your fiance make a choice like that. Eventually his brother may grow up some and realize what a butt he has been, hopefully anyway. Until then do what is right for yourselves. Neither of you can control him (little brother) but you can control yourselves, don't let him bully either of you. And I hope your fiance keeps a firm stance on no quality time then no rides!!!! Giving in to his tantrums (for lack of a better word) will probably only encourage his bad behavior.
    Tawanda74

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 1:00 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

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