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Im out of ideas...Please help me with the monster my mother created!!

My son went wth my mom for a week. She let him sleep in the bed with her at night, and now that he is at home, he wont have it any other way. It's way beyond ridiculous now. He is a year and a half. Ive tried everything i can think of. I put him in his bed at bedtime, and he screams until the point of hyperventalation. He wont wuit screaming until I come get him, almost like he's hurting but i know he isnt because evertime i go get him, he gets quiet. I put him in my bed and he goes straight to sleep. Im stuck between a rock and a hard place. If I let him cry it out, he will hurt himself. But if i go get him, im not teaching anything. Now before you give me ideas, this i s what ive done:
Ive tried: Singing to him, rubbing him while he is in his bed, talking to him, giving him a night light, giving him his juice cup, and a few other things. Anyting you can tell me at this point would be helpful.

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BrittanyShay

Asked by BrittanyShay at 2:26 AM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (15)
  • What's wrong with co-sleeping? By getting your child when they cry you are teaching them to depend on you.
    MoonLover06

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 2:39 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I understand that. Theres a difference between feeling as though they can depend on you, and not being able to do things themselves. Any other time, i get him as soon as he cries. But, my mom co-slept with me after she divorced my dad. She didnt getme out of her bed until i was well over 7 years old. It's not the fact of co-sleeping that bothers me. I dont want him to be too dependent on me. He shares a room with me, and his bed is a few feet from mine and my boyfriends.So i know that once i move him to his own room, that it is going to be a struggle. I dont want him dependent on having me next to him as weel. I just want him to be able to fall asleep on his own.
    BrittanyShay

    Answer by BrittanyShay at 2:45 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I don't think that means he's too dependent on you. DD is 2.5 and she is just now starting to sleep in her own bed. DH co-slept with his parents until he was 5 and he was not spoiled for that (he was spoiled because they were super rich and bought him any damn thing he wanted) and he is not clingy or a mama's boy.

    Children have an instinct to sleep with us. It's not their fault that we invented cribs and separate rooms. He will eventually want his own space. DD and I shared a twin and my big butt was hogging the bed so now she likes to sleep in her own bed. We must be patient and not expect miracles overnight. I know it's hard. When I heard that same advice when DD was 6 months old and still nursing 30 times a day I wanted to strangle the person who said it. Breaking the habit of co-sleeping doesn't have to be difficult. It is adults who must change their expectations to fit their needs and age.
    MoonLover06

    Answer by MoonLover06 at 2:52 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I say let him cry. calm him down and leave again. Thats ridiculous and tell ur mom not to do that ever again cuz thats forming a habit you dont wana have. you and you SO should be able to sleep alone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I co-slept with my first daughter and am now doing it with my second. The idea of it is great, and of course I love snuggling with them all night and knowing they are safe next to me, but I definitely understand the feeling of wanting your bed to yourself and NEEDING them to sleep in their own beds. If your son was sleeping in his crib without a problem before he stayed with his mom, then I think the best thing to do would be to go back to whatever routine you had prior to his time away. Maybe you could play some music for him and tell him to lay in bed and listen to the music. Or let him pick out one of his favorite stuffed animals to bring to bed with him. My daughter gets to pick out one of her animals every night before she goes to sleep and that makes it easier for her. It sort of takes the power struggle out of it and she doesn't feel so lonely.
    MamaApril2

    Answer by MamaApril2 at 7:22 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Lay with him until he falls asleep and then leave his room. That's what I do with my son.
    ajguinn

    Answer by ajguinn at 9:31 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I had a similar issue with my DD. There is nothing wrong with co sleeping except that neither of us gets a good night sleep and it's not what we choose to do. I'm assuming it's the same for you.
    I started by rocking her and reading a book, then I put her in bed and lay down with her. Once she was asleep I left. We had wake ups, so I would just lay back down with her and repeat.
    Now I can rock her, put her in bed, and stay in the chair. She'll go to sleep on her own mostly.
    My next step is to be able to get her mostly asleep and leave.
    If he's still in a crib, it may be time for a big boy bed. If you're going to retrain bedtime, might as well do it all at once. :)
    AndrisMom

    Answer by AndrisMom at 11:12 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Are you actually picking him up when you 'go get him'? Maybe try to just go in and sit with him. Don't leave his room if you do pick him up. Be strong. Bedtime is in HIS room, not yours. That's how we 'trained' our DD to sleep in her twin bed when we took her out of the crib, this was a couple weeks ago and we don't have many problems with it now.
    AndrisMom

    Answer by AndrisMom at 11:15 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • i would hold him in his room intill he fall asleep and ask him if readinga story or what i have to do with my kids is make up a silly song about what ever subject they pick...sometimes its their name or a animal...i dont do co sleepin b/c me and hubby have a very active sex life and we cant do anything with kids in the bed...pluse i know 2 people who kids have dies in their bed while co sleeping so im toatally aginst co sleeping while they are infints.now that my kids are older rnt at risk for sids and they have a nitemare and hubby isnt home then they can lay on some cushions in my room intill dh gets home and theythey r carried back to their room.
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 1:15 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Maybe you shouldn't leave your under 2 year old for a whole week.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:01 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

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