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What do you do or say when your Step Child that youve rasied for 3 years and Calls you mom everyday Tells you " I dont have to your not my mom"?

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nikkimomod

Asked by nikkimomod at 2:46 PM on Jun. 21, 2008 in Teens (13-17)

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • I know you were probably hurt by what was said. But I think you and the child and the father need to sit down and talk about what happened. The child may be going thru something and needs to talk.
    How old is this child?
    Mz_Lady1978

    Answer by Mz_Lady1978 at 3:20 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • This happened to my husband also with my oldest girls. He has been around since they were 4 and 5. when teen years hit we heard you are not my dad and cannot tell me what to do. it takes ALOT of patience. they are now almost 18 and almost 17 and things are alot better.

    Good Luck !
    jduffy05

    Answer by jduffy05 at 3:26 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • This happened to my husband also with my oldest girls. He has been around since they were 4 and 5. when teen years hit we heard you are not my dad and cannot tell me what to do. it takes ALOT of patience. they are now almost 18 and almost 17 and things are alot better.

    Good Luck !
    jduffy05

    Answer by jduffy05 at 3:27 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Say, no, you don't have to.
    But still mother the child as it is your duty.
    TXdanielly

    Answer by TXdanielly at 7:53 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • Don't take it personal, thats how teens act at this age. I know it's hard but just Ignore there sly remarks If you helped raise them they do appreciate you , there just mad at the time.
    AuntieVetta

    Answer by AuntieVetta at 8:26 PM on Jun. 21, 2008

  • I would tell them that no you are not their biological parent but you are a parental unit therefore deserving of respect. You are there to guide them and you have not only a duty to make sure that they are safe and well but you chose to be a part of their life and take on this responsibility. Being a parent does not mean that they have to have your blood running through their veins. I know many children that grew in hearts not under them. I tell my daughter now that I am her mom not her friend and even though she may say she hates me and that I am mean now in 10 years she is going to love me with all her heart again and realize that I knew what I was talking about all those years. I am willing to wait for her to come around and if she does not want to listen to me and so as I say she can wait with me because she will not be leaving the house.
    blueyedalls

    Answer by blueyedalls at 1:19 AM on Jun. 22, 2008

  • I grew up with a stepmother and my oldest is not my husbands son, but he has been in his life for over 10 years. When a step child says that, the parent automatically thinks it's a "step" issue. Guess what, it's not. It's a kid thing. Wait until your child hits 18 yrs old and is still living at home or in school and you say something they dont want to hear. You will get that "I don't have to because I am 18" response. No different then what you were told by your stepchild. If you let the stepchild see that their response to you bothered you, they will use that over and over and over again. Next time they say that to you, simply respond as a parent. Don't put that "step parent" lable on yourself. Children are great at seeing which buttons they can push and what they can do when they push them. If it gets out of control, talk to your husband about it and see if he and the biological mother of the child will speak to the child together about it.
    dunkley4

    Answer by dunkley4 at 9:58 AM on Jun. 23, 2008

  • If my step daughter said to me that I was not her mom and she didn't have to listen to me.Then the mom things I do would stop.instantly.cooking, clean sheets, driving her here and there,occasional spending money...ect...When she asks me why I would tell her how right she was that I am not her momma.then the stepchilds attitude would change, and they would find more respect for you.
    evelynwest

    Answer by evelynwest at 3:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2008

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