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what would you do?

My mil watches my dd on a regular basis and I know that when she is with her that my daughter is safe and loved but I have some issues. His mom is CRAZY emotional so if I try to say anything to her about what she needs to do when my dd is there then she gets really upsets and cries for like DAYS (not exaggerating!) but there are some things that I feel need to change for example she watched her for us on Friday so we could go see a movie we dropped her off at 2:30 picked her up at 7 when we got to my mils house my dd was sleeping I politely asked why and she said “well she said she was tired and if she’s tired she should sleep” She let my dd take a nap from 4-7 when she KNOWS we put her to bed at 8 EVERY NIGHT!
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momofone072506

Asked by momofone072506 at 3:11 AM on Jun. 7, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 16 (1,796 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • It completely screwed up her schedule we couldn’t get her to go to bed until after 2 in the morning!!! I asked my dh to say something to his mother about how she gives my dd EVERYTHING she wants the second she wants it and he say “well she’s watching her so we can have a date so we can’t complain” I think that’s bullshit! It’s very nice how much she watches her just so we can have alone time but, she is still OUR kid and she needs to respect rules that we have in place right???? What do you all think?
    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 3:11 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • i agree with you to some extent, but at the same time... if someone else is watching them, they arent doing their normal schedule.. they arent in their home with their things so its already off.. but i think if the child is tired let them sleep yeah you want them to go to sleep for you, but if someone else is watching the child i think you should let them take a nap while they are there if they need it.
    MomNbabyGirl009

    Answer by MomNbabyGirl009 at 3:14 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • just try and do things earlier so it wont impact so much
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:18 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Ya she does need to respect the rules that you have in place. Who the hell in the right mind is gonna lay a child down for a nap from 4-7 that's crazy i don't care how old you are you need to stay up. You DH sounds like he will not stand up to her at all. He is right also but, Is there someone else you can have to watch her for a little while and see if you can have a heart to heart with your MIL cause that's what really needs to happen.

    raemommy

    Answer by raemommy at 3:20 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Is there someone else you can have to watch her for a little while


    well that's a whole other problem!!!! I have 3 sisters that live near me and my dh doesn't like them and doesn't want them watching dd.. The only person he is "comfortable" watching our dd is his mom.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:50 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • i didn't mean to post that anon
    momofone072506

    Answer by momofone072506 at 3:51 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Well, while it would be nice if she did everything just like you want, its not likely to happen. How often is she watching her? You said regular basis, but does that mean once a week? If youre only talking about here and there, then I would let it go. You cant leave her with someone else and expect them to keep the same schedule down to a T. I would say..hey, dont let her sleep past 5 okay? In a very nice tone. Youre asking not commanding. Just let her know that whenever you do that she wont go to sleep on time. Say it so that it seems that youre telling her your experience and not criticizing anything shes done in the past. If shes that sensitive, then shes likely really wanting your approval or she wouldnt cry about it. Give her credit where credit is due. Also I am of the impression that if another person is helping me out for free, then I take some of what comes with the territory. I have 4 kids and my MIL has babysit
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:42 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • for me many many times. My kids are now 14, 11, 7 and 3 and I am sure she didnt do it just like I would have over the years, but all of my kids are happy, healthy and well adjusted. I have a wonderful relationship with my inlaws as well as both sets of my parents. These types of things are not that important in the grand scheme of things. You dont ruin relationships over small things like this because you know that eventually this child will grow up and eventually not take naps at all. If you plan on being with your dh, then youre with your MIL forever. Just try and compromise with her and dont be so hard on her. Yes she should do as you ask, but if she doesnt, then just limit your outings. GOod luck.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 9:45 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I would have been peeved myself, but I do agree with the hubby. There have been many times I have to suck it up, if they are doing me the favor and I am not paying them I just accept it isn't going to always be done the way I want it. I took naps away from my littlest at about 16 months, he would not go to bed till 10-11 o'clock if he got one didn't matter how early or late the naps were, but my MIL would give him one, it drove me crazy, but what worked for her and got her to see my point was that she kept him one night after a nap, an early nap to boot, and he didn't go to sleep till midnight, needless to say he never got another nap from her. But I know that when my kids are with her she is going to do things her own way, there are some rules that are a no no matter what, but most things can be worked around.
    luckysevenwow

    Answer by luckysevenwow at 10:48 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Personally, I wouldn't let anyone that unstable watch my kid. I'd tell dh no more date nights until we found someone other then looney lucy to watch my baby.
    Arisce

    Answer by Arisce at 1:06 PM on Jun. 8, 2009

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