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I think I need help

I love my 8 month little girl more than anything in this word, she is my angel and I feel like I have the utmost patience with her most of the time, I know I do because she is very high needs and we are attachment parents and I believe that takes a whole lot more patience than most.
However she has been on this schedule of not going to sleep until midnight or 1am (we cosleep), waking every hour to 2 hours and getting up at 10/11am. She is our only child so I try to nap with her during the day but this has been going on for over a month and I am so unbelievably exhausted and frustrated sometimes now, especially at night. I get really angry because I don't know what to do.
I have yelled at her, at DH, I have given up and walked into another room, let DH take her, I have slammed doors, I have cried, sobbed, and pretty much acted like a teenager. What is wrong with me? I try SO SO SO SO hard but feel like a failure.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:20 AM on Jun. 7, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (7)
  • You are exhausted. You can't keep on not getting a good night's sleep forever. You need to figure out what you can live with. The idea of attachment parenting may be more attractive than the reality of following some people's concepts of it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:25 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Im sorry youre so frustrated. Really, you havent had any sleep and that will make a person flip sometimes. Even the BEST mother. It sounds like youre being too hard on yourself. I also agree that sometimes attachment parenting can seem like a good concept, but maybe its not for everyone. How about doing different variations of it. I like the idea of keeping my kids close in generally, but I dont co sleep with them. They are a bit too old for that, but it seems little miss might have found a routine that she likes because its not requiring anything from her. Meaning she knows she can wake up and eat every two hours on demand because youre letting her do it. At 8 mos, she should easily be able to sleep through the night without food. So decide what schedule you want her on and work towards that. I dont think its bad to have her sleep with you, but dont let her use you as an all night diner. Go easy on yourself. Youre tired.

    Answer by momofsaee at 7:49 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

    I have tried literally everything short of letting her scream all night. I am an attachment parent by nature, just recently did I discover there was a name for it, so i'm not doing it for the 'title'. Even still I did try other approaches and nothing is working.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:54 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • Wake her up early (try at 8am first) and keep her awake through one of her usual naptimes. If you tire her out, she'll settle into a bed routine you can handle...

    And don't feel bad for losing control, we've all done it, especially when we've had crappy sleep. Your body and mind needs sleep, and not choppy sleep. I hate choppy sleep... :P

    But yeah, tire her out, she'll be sleepy come bedtime.

    Answer by Gremlyn at 7:58 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • I have nothing against co-sleeping when it works for people, but I do think in some cases it can lead to poor sleep for the whole family. I'm not convinced that "tiring her out" works -- overtired babies have more fragmented, poorer quality sleep, which causes more wakefulness, not more sleep. I would try teaching her to sleep in her own space. I think you'll be able to achieve your attachment parenting goals -- giving her the emotional support and presence she needs at all times -- better if you're not sleep deprived. If she sleeps in her own space, you can work on soothing her to sleep much earlier than her current bedtime (7 or 8 would be appropriate for her age) and I would suspect she would give you much longer stretches. Lots of parents transitioning from co-sleeping swear by The No-Cry Sleep Solution book (Pantley?). We threw in the towel on co-sleeping much earlier so we didn't use this book. Good luck.

    Answer by EmilySusan at 9:30 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • This is the OP again:
    To address some ideas. She doesn't wake to eat every hour to 2 hours, she just wakes and I either get her to take the pacifier or nurse her back to sleep. I also tried putting her in her own crib which is in our room and when she wakes to nurse/pacifier her and comfort her back to sleep, then back in her crib but it was still every single hour I was doing that and it was a thousand times more tiring than having her in my bed. I can see her two teeth on top under her gums so they will be coming though soon, but I don't think babies can teeth this bad for a month can they?!

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:24 AM on Jun. 7, 2009

  • yes they can teething is a long painful process. try some baby oral gel or teething pills they will help her with the pain. u can also give her some cilderens tyenol befor bed this will help her sleep though the nite b/c she wont be waking up in pain.

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:40 PM on Jun. 7, 2009

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